Is this wrong?

[pigfat]

So, for those who don't know "which is everyone". I am going through CLEET which is basically police academy. I'm here Monday night through friday afternoon. I get home about 7:00 pm on Fridays. My girlfriend of two years and I had an argument which basically boils down to my time spent on the weekends. She gets mad if I don't spend every second with her on the weekends and pouts. I miss her and want to spend time with her but I have a lot of stuff I want to do like laundry, mowing, and of course caring for my snakes. . I'm surrounded with 67 other people all day and don't have much free time...and when I get home I want some alone time where it's just me in my quiet house. Is that wrong to ask?


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[pookie!]

That sucks.. have you told her how you feel? If she cant handle that you need your own time/space and is still acting like that even though you have sat her down and talked with her.. well then, yeah.. someone is a tad clingy and doesnt get that acting that way is only going to mess things up in the long run..

[BallsUnlimited]

your not wrong in anyway. everyone needs there own time\space. If your significant other doesnt see it that way then you may need to start looking for a new one. Once a girl tries to control my life she is out of my life.

[Foschi Exotic Serpents]

I'm a female and I don't think you are in the wrong at all. I'll be the first to admit that I'm often emotionally dependent, but not clingy in the slightest. Especially if my man were trying to better him self and eventually create a good life for us both.

Over the years I became the type of person who is happy with what I have when I have it. That includes other people. Let's say I'm with someone who can't be around all the time. Well then I just remember how happy I am when he IS around or when we do talk etc.. It makes it all worthwhile. Especially when you can look at the big picture.

Quiet? I love quiet! I crave it. Does she want you to be constantly doing things with her and constantly running around? Or would she be happy just being there with you. Helping you do you house work, or relaxing with a movie on the couch while doing some laundry? That's my idea of contentment. If she's actually clingy and upset about this, but we don't really know the details since you haven't given them, you need to have a heart to heart with her. Assure her of your feelings but try to come to some mutual agreement so that you're both stress free.

I can only imagine how physically and mentally challenging your training is, and it seems odd to me that she isn't thinking about it in that way.


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[pookie!]

Amen Foschi Exotic Serpents ..

[youbeyouibei]

Congratulations on your career choice, Pigfat! I currently work in law enforcement and can't imagine a more fulfilling or at times more infuriating career choice (mostly the politics within the agency and at times some of the calls/inability to do SOMETHING but anyway...). I don't blame you in the least for feeling how you do about wanting to get home and just chill. I was the same when I was at the academy and also now when I work. It takes some time to decompress and go from constantly being on your guard and watching things to being able to relax and realize the person sitting next to you isn't a potential threat and is instead someone you care about. My wife and I went through a learning curve while I was in training and also too the first year or two I was starting my career. We've come to the point to where she leaves me alone for the first hour or two after I get home while I decompress and work on being a functional human being again, lol! As has already been said, sit her down and lay it out for her as far as what you're dealing with at your training, the toll it takes to constantly have to be "on" for people (classmates, instructors, cadre, etc.) and how valuable that time to yourself can be. If she's not willing to hear that or compromise with you to where you guys still get to see each other but you also get your time, well...then I think that question answers itself. Good luck with things and be safe!

[KMG]

Im a LEO. I work nights and love it. The schedule you will have is gonna be crazy at first and she will have to be understanding that life for a LEO is in no way regular. If she has a problem now she will have a bigger problem later. Your gonna have stuff you dont want to talk about and times you need space to decompress and she may not understand which is always hard on a relationship. It is hard for people to understand how hard the job is and how much it takes out of you. LEO's are not easy to date and have a interesting life to say the least. Our humor and feelings, well lack there of, throws people off and your girl is no different. Lucky for me I have a great fiance that allows me to sleep during the day when needed and doesnt bother me when I get called in or my days off suddenly get changed or I have to take action on my day off.

My advise to you is have a sit down and tell her how you feel and what you need from her. I hope she understands and gets off you. I also suggest this book from on amazon. Its about having a cop in the family and what to expect. If she will read it I would buy it for her. That way its from a good source and not just you telling her what you need. Check it out.

http://www.amazon.com/Love-Cop-Revis...&keywords=cops

Good luck

[pigfat]

Thanks guys and gals. That's the thing, she comes over while I'm trying to do stuff and just sits there and then says "I'm just going to go home so you can do stuff" and I ask if she wants to help and she doesn't. Then she came back later and I wasn't done with stuff so I said "how about I get this stuff done and then I'll come over in an hour/hour and half" and she said okay. Well I was a little late and she was so upset and I even said I would stay later before having to leave but she would t have Ny of it. It's doing nothing but putting more stress on me.


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[wilomn]

Choices. Sounds like you'll be making a big one soon. IF she hasn't already made it for you and is waiting for you to figure it out. Good luck man.

[WingedWolfPsion]

Yeah, that's unreasonable. I'm sorry, but she should get up off her lazy butt and help you, not pout because you're busy getting house work done. I'm also female, and I think she's being massively inconsiderate. If she wants more time with you, putting her little self to work on the chores will get them done quicker, and make that happen.

Sorry to be harsh, but honestly? lol...

For your part, however, you should give her one full day of your undivided attention. Pick one day for chores and personal time, and she gets what's left over--and the next day belongs to just her, with no other distractions.