Alice still hasn't shown up.
There's no sign of him anywhere.
Not so much as a tiny disturbance in all the flour scattered everywhere around bowls of water, heating pads or mice.

Hubby pulled the trailer up to the house and parked it under the upstairs window and I'm tearing everything apart, literally piece by piece and throwing much of it away, just in case he got up there, somehow.

I have an infrared security camera set up in the false wall where the hole goes under the house.

I 'caught' a mouse wandering around in there...and nothing else.

I switched to talcum powder because the mice were eating the flour and cornstarch and gave me false hope when I saw it had been disturbed.

There's no way to see inside the log walls or between the floors/ceilings.

There are so many places he could've gotten into and never find his way back out again.

I am sinking into despair.

I hurt so badly.

My chest is always hurting, my stomach has hollow ache that won't go away and the crying has switched to the silent grieving that accompanies hopelessness.

I knew I loved him dearly but I didn't know how very much so.

I'm not looking for new suggestions...I've followed every one given me to the letter and still haven't seen a single indication that he's here.

I guess I just need comfort from those who understand what it is to love a snake this much.



Thanks for listening.

Shari

p.s. the super pastel with the 'smiley face' arrives Thursday.
I thought he would cheer me up but it's like putting a BandAid over a sucking chest wound.
It helps, but not much.