Aspen should be changed at least once a month. I greatly prefer paper towels though.

I would leave him alone for at least a week, then try to feed him. After that you can try holding him. Every other day for 5-10 minutes. (never hold him within 48 of him eating) this should go a long way, and settle him down be it will take time.

What type of cage/hides/heat sources are you using? And what are the current temps/humidity (and what are you using to measure them?

I ask because any of those things can stress out a snake if not correct.