Trust

[MrLang]

NOT trusting someone is a sign of insecurity, not the other way around.

I should have highlighted the word NEEDS. Being UNABLE would definitely be an issue of its own; I agree (if that's what you meant).

[RetiredJedi]

I think the actions taken afterwards by the untrusted person are key. The cheating husband or wife example, if they want to regain your trust they must do whatever it takes if they really want the relationship to work. No getting mad when the "where were you?" question is asked or "What are doing?". That's all part of it. I will be married for 25 years this year and I can promise you it hasn't been easy (because of me). However, our relationship is stronger now than it ever was but both people have to work at it. If one doesn't want to put in the effort then it will never work out. It can be done but it will take time.

[DooLittle]

I don't think that once trust has been broken that anything can ever be the same again. Imo it will never be 100% happy or healthy relationship again. I personally would move on. I have been married for almost 12 years. And if there was a "trust" issue, I would be gone. My husband and I completely trust each other. That is huge in having a successful relationship.
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[Trochu]

Okay, but what happens if you don't have 10 years of a strong marriage to fall back on? And what if the other party continued to make bad choices following the "mistakes"?

I don't think its a trust issue if the actions are regularly repeated. I think you know what you have to do Lgray......

[JulieInNJ]

I don't think its a trust issue if the actions are regularly repeated.

Perfectly stated.

Once trust is broken, it can never be 100% repaired.

[John1982]

It depends entirely upon the individuals involved, entirely. Some folk can let bygones be bygones over multiple affairs while others may end a relationship over a lingering stare. You have to choose for yourself where you stand and what you're willing to endure. As for being together for a long time, that doesn't necessarily mean transgressions are more easily forgiven. The longer you're with someone the more hurt you may be and the more difficult you may find it to forgive.

[Don]

I've been married for more than 30 years. I trust my wife 100% in everything. I don't know how we would still be married if I did not. I know she also trusts me 100%. In fact, I may be unqualified to answer the question, because there has never been a trust issue between me and my wife.

Trust is a very special thing, just like love. If it is lost, I imagine that it can be very difficult to get it back. It is also an act or should I say a verb, not a noun - meaning a noun is something stagnant and never changing. Love, respect and trust are constantly evolving and moving - growing and tested. Therefore, once it is lost, through hard work on both sides it may be able to be revived over a long period of time.

To me, trust is just as important as love and respect. For a relationship to work for me, there must be all three (trust, love and respect). That is the three legged stool of a relationship.

[Skittles1101]

I don't think its a trust issue if the actions are regularly repeated. I think you know what you have to do Lgray......

Well not the same actions...just more like not putting in the amount of effort you'd expect....and also the original action/s don't necessarily have to be physical cheating. Without going into too much detail, trust was broken very badly. don't know, I probably shouldn't have even made this post. I guess I just wanted some other opinions on trust or lack thereof...

[DooLittle]

Well not the same actions...just more like not putting in the amount of effort you'd expect....and also the original action/s don't necessarily have to be physical cheating. Without going into too much detail, trust was broken very badly. don't know, I probably shouldn't have even made this post. I guess I just wanted some other opinions on trust or lack thereof...

Whatever it is you're struggling with, we are here to help if you need it.

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[Simple Man]

I think any relationship that doesn't have trust, has issues Just my experience. I'm a once bitten, twice shy type of person but I always trust 100% until there is a reason not to. Thankfully I've never really had any issues there but if that trust was lost then I'd guess the relationship probably would be too in my book. I've found that people have a habit of repeating mistakes. That might mean that they violate your trust or that you find the same kind of people time and time again. It's a vicious cycle that is partially because of environmental factors and life decisions have helped shaped who you are and what you look for. The same is true of the other person. It's pretty hard to change hardwiring in your brain. It *IS* possible but highly unlikely.

Regards,

B