I know first hand what it can do for a family. He was 38 and left behind a 10 year old son and a family that cared for him. There is not a day since that I still think I could have stopped it in some way. So please go and see a counselor it can't hurt. Also feel free to send me a pm if you want to talk more.
Thank you for taking the time to share your story and to strongly remind us all to keep ourselves and our loved ones well. I am sorry for your loss and my heart to his son.
Mostly Leos and Cresties, but also
1.0 Human (wild caught next door, but taming nicely)