Anyone Deal With Stubborn Elderly Parents?

[MasonC2K]

So as some of you know, my Dad had a seizure a couple weekends ago. When the hospital let him go home they said he can't drive for 6 months or until his primary doctor was satisfied with the recovery.

Well, yesterday he drove to Walmart. My Mom is helpless to stop him because she has her own issues that limits what she can do. So he's driving all of us nuts. We've explained to him that he can call any of us to take him anywhere. But he just says it's a bunch of garbage and he's ok to drive. It's like he has a death wish or something. I don't even want to think about him having another seizure while driving.

I just don't understand this level of stubborness.

[olstyn]

He probably feels that his independence is being taken away, and naturally, his urge, especially since he feels capable, is to resist that. I don't know that I have any advice for you, but here's hoping that you're eventually able to convince him to obey his doctors and that he doesn't get himself or someone else hurt in the mean time.

[DananaPants]

I had a friend who had the same issue, and it's obviously very difficult. He actually ended up rewiring his dad's car so that you had to turn a switch under the seat before the ignition would turn on. it's totally a hillbilly solution but it worked!

Of course, few of us will be able to give actual advice, but we can sympathize and hope everything works out for the best!

My parents live in europe so i really don't need to deal with them much . Hey! Send your dad on a trip to Europe!

[CherryPython]

Not parents...but Grandparents yes. My gran can barely walk up the stairs, and my Grandfather just retired and then decided he wants to go back to work...yet he can barely stand or walk on his right foot. He is a stubborn head when my Nan says she needs to move to a bungalow because she can't deal with the stairs, she is just as stubborn about walking places and her diet. She is a type 2 diabetic, been recommended she go to the gym to control her weight and not eat so much fat, encourages ME to do these things (type 1, 5ft, good diet and 26" waistline...) but when I ask her if she actually does it, she "cant be bothered today" I don't get the stubborn-ness either!! Drives you crazy especially when they're just going to end up hurting themselves, I reckon my grandparents just don't like the thought of losing their independence or people thinking they're "past it"

[suzuki4life]

So your father had a seizure which according to DOT's regulations and voids his license. He's apparently at risk for another seizure which could result in killing innocent people. Yet somehow you feel he is stubborn?

I would explain tough love to your father. He is getting older and yes he feels his independance slipping away. HOWEVER, I highly doubt he wants to kill an innocent person with his actions. His actions are reckless, irresponsible and illegal. if none of that matters to him, contact the police and notify them of his license situation, then his insurance company. If No license, and no insurance doesn't stop him, hide his keys. I highly doubt you want your father to die in an accident or worse yet, both of you live with the results of what an accident can do to others and the repercussions.

I have a grandfather who is listed as legally blind by the vetrans association. I have contacted DOT and so has his doctor. SOMEHOW, he passed a retest!!! Our family has expressed to him that we feel he shouldn't be driving. However, in my case, it is hard to argue with a man who has passed a retest by DOT.

[L.West]

We went thru this with my father - he started with Alzheimers and it clearly got to the point that us kids felt he should not be driving any longer. We literally had to take his keys away and then sell his truck in order for him to accept that he just could not drive any longer for his safety and others.

It was a very difficult thing to do but we just had to do it. Now, years later with full blown Alzheimers - he doesn't even know where he is half the time - he will still insist that he could still drive - very scarey.

I wish you luck with reasoning with your father - I know first hand that it can be an uphill battle.

[snake lab]

Will to live is a powerful thing with those who are up in age and in failing health. Independance is something noone wants taken away. My grandmother lost my grandfather in 1976. Since then she did everything for herself. She was a very independant woman. One of her biggest joys in life besides her kids and us grandkids was pkaying golf. She loved it. She played pretty much every day. One day she went to the docs and they said she had diabetes. About a month later she had 2 toes amputated. About 2 months after they had to take the leg from the knee down. Other then that she was in great health but once the ability for her to pkay golf was taken away she totally lost the will to live. She passed about 6 weeks later from what doctors said was depression and lack of will to live. There was no medical reason other then that they could give. You will never win the battle to convince an aging person they cant do something. Watching loved ones health fail is the worst. I feel for ya

[DooLittle]

My grandma is old and stubborn. Lately, I can tell her marbles seem to be slipping. It's tough, like everyone else has said, they don't want to lose their independance. If you have to, take away they keys. He shouldn't be driving, him or innocent people could get hurt or killed.

[Mike41793]

I work in a nursing home. I assure you that ALL old people are stubborn lmao...

[tlich]

I work in a nursing home. I assure you that ALL old people are stubborn lmao...

Lol, so do I, on an alzheimers unit and they are extra stubborn, but still my favorite. I blame the generation, but Im sure I will be just as bad.