Parental Craziness

[mattchibi]

Dont you love it when one day your parents wake up and decide that having five snakes is a terrible idea? Called me things like irresponsible and selfish, even though I fully explained to them before getting my collection and that I would need to expand and get a few more racks. By "racks" they thought I meant "tubs"... Durrr, I guess its my fault for not going into full detail. Depending on the situation, I wont be able to move out for another 3 years so theres a chance I might have to sell my collection, but I have been trying to discuss with them in a positive manner what other solutions I have.

Anyone else have problems with juggling their ball python hobby and parents / roomates / girlfriend ? Or any parents out there with some parental wisdome for me? Im not sure how Im going to get out of this one, I tried explaining that I have spent a great deal of money already on the collection, and my dad promptly storms in saying "I'll give you $3000 to get rid of them!". I proceeded to explain that it wasnt about the money, that it was my hobby and I wanted to do it for the rest of my life because it was my passion But they didnt really even acknowledge that point.

Things are really rocky between me and my parents right now.. I have the choice of either dropping out of college, working full time instead of 14 hours a week, and supporting my snakes OR staying in college for another 2 years, living at home and selling my collection for the time being until I save enough to move out (Im smart enough to know that if its between those two options, there really isnt a choice to be made, I would stay in school). It breaks my heart that this could be a reality but I wont find out until my parents give me an ultimatum in a few days.

I know its kind of my fault for not telling them every little detail and there was an obvious miscommunication about how many "racks" i was going to need to buy, but they have been supporting my hobby since October with not many problems so I assumed they were cool with everything. The main problem they have now is that they thought I had bought all the things necessary for my snakes, but I told them today that I would still have to expand by buying a new rack for my males and females and hatchlings and an incubator, and thats what made them freak out. Such a terrible day , and sorry for the rant guys, just wanted to see what some of you, who are actually parents, have to say about this..

[The Serpent Merchant]

My parents aren't exactly thrilled about my collection, but I don't live with them so that makes things much easier. For me as long as I can be financially independent they aren't a problem... I just hope I don't get into a situation where I have to ask my parents for money because I'm guessing I'll be selling a snake or 2 to get it.

[Crazy4Herps]

I'm so sorry to hear that! My parents have always been wary of my pets, but they got used to them after a few years (though my dad is still not at all comfortable with my boas). It's a tricky situation to be sure. Maybe you could compromise, say you'd keep the five snakes you have but not breed them. That would eliminate the need for more racks and incubators. If not, you could sell them / give them away to someone local so you can keep an eye on them and maybe buy them back once you move out?

[jtomb1510]

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time right now with your parents. I'd just give them a day or two to calm down and then just try to talk to them about it. Explain to them how much your snakes mean to you and don't get defensive. They may just be overreacting right now because of the initial shock of you telling them you are going to need more racks and an incubator. They may change their minds after a few days when they realize how much this means to you. When I first got into reptiles, my mom was totally fine with lizards, but there is no way snakes were coming into her house. Just a few months later, they were loaning me 2 grand to buy my first rack and 3 new bp's lol. So just give them some time and then just talk to them.

[ReptilesK2]

This was actually exactly the way my parents used to be. My mom is still hating on them though, she really hates them and tells me to rid of them constantly. On the other hand my dad has actually gotten used to them after I bought my 3rd one. He actually started to like them.. He's bought every single snake of mine after that lol. We bought over 20 ball pythons in less than 6 months. He's helped me build my racks, rat racks, and he helped me pay for my incubator, thermostats, supplies. Its all really costly because I dont have a job, and I'm only 17, still in high school.

Before all this, everyone in my family HATED snakes. They all thought I was crazy. If I were you I'd tell my parents that I could sell 1 or 2 since they think 5 is too much. Or tell them you'll just keep those 5 and you wont breed. Then when you move out in 3 years you can breed and all your females will be definitely ready!

Good luck to you!

[zeion97]

Ouch... I went down this road. I went to LCB, one of the best and most expansive culinary schools... In school for a year put me $50,000 in debt now (I usually say 100,000 to include the interest..)

I brought home Simba, my normal male and my mom freaked out thinking he was a killer... WELL, I brought home Sarabi... Mom went crazy.. I brought home 3 more.. 1 Being a Burmese Python.. she went even crazier (sadly my first burm died...)

Well after a few months a brought home a 3.5 foot burmese. Well she threw a fit, you know what I said to her when she threatened to kick me out? harsh.. I said.. "YOU made me have to drop out of school, I watch BOTH my brothers daily and get NO life, AND I work, I deserve something" (worded because i don't remember this excatly, But I Will ALWAYS remember these words.... Without me, you couldn't take care of this family. She has yet to say anything besides she wants money for bills.. WHICH every time i get cash something breaks -_-; IE $700 to have a vehicle for work.

Yes, I know are two cases are VERY different, but this is what I did. In your position I would find a comprimise.. Dropping out ill make life only harder, BUT selling your collection could start a trend of emotional discomfrot, WHICH could lead to option 1 anyway.. You never know..

Well that's my advice and my story... I also left out a LOT of details but hey.. Family life stays in the family.

[RobNJ]

I think while you're in school and living with your parents that you should keep your hobby to primarily keeping...if you feel the need to breed, pick out a pair a year. Keep it small, and be responsible. Talk to your parents about what you're doing. They probably see you as going through a phase and hate to see you spend your hard money on your hobby, thinking that you'll be over it in a year or two.

You're at a time of your life where your mind will change about a million times...not saying you're going to stop keeping snakes, but you never know. There's no need to expand at your age while you're working and going to school full time. Concentrate on yourself for now, and do what you have to do at this time. The snakes will be there when you're done with college, find gainful employment, and have a place of your own. I'm not trying to discourage you from keeping snakes now, that is awesome. My point is that you aren't quite established in life, and you're bound to discover about 100 more things that you possibly could be passionate about over the next few years.

[Maixx]

Only thing I can say is stay in school.

When I was 19 I dropped out of college, then joined the army, was injured (non combat) to be discharged, then spent 12 years working in construction until a catastrophic injury in 08, and disabled since.
My life would have been completely different if I would have stayed in school. I still would have joined the military, I just would have had more options like flying a hilo over driving tanks.

I don't like to talk about my life in a public forum, but I just don't want to see someone make the same mistakes I did.

[mattchibi]

Thanks for the advice guys, I'll let you know how it goes. I really like the idea of not breeding them until I move out but we'll see what the rents say.

[CherryPython]

That really sucks :/ My mum won't have anything other than a cat in her house, so I couldn't get my first BP til I was nearly 20 because I was living at college and then moved in with my grandparents and it took me seven months to persuade them. They got used to mine, but my mum still refuses to have anything that's not a cat.

Unfortunately, as I found, arguing with parents is pointless if they just don't get it. My Mum doesn't so I've stopped bothering asking and so has my brother. Luckily I don't live there any more. I guess if you've given them all the facts and figures and reassured them to the point of screaming it at them there's not a lot you can do. Don't get any more and expand loads, it'll just make them more frustrated. Parents can be so unreasonable. Hope everything goes alright