Twenty years old and I still can't talk to girls....fml

[Mike41793]

Anyone seen the movie Sex Drive? Its kinda related to all of this... Evan you should watch it.

[evan385]

Thank you all. I wish I had time to reply to all of your posts but sadly I work third shift at Denso and i'm on about an hour of sleep. Tuesdays and Thursdays are basically school and try to get some sleep between classes. Which is another factor. Even when I don't have school, after sleep, driving, and whatever else I have to do I have about a maximum of five hours free time. But realistically it's about four give or take thirty minutes and even less if I decide to hit the gym. This is why I have no social life. Guess i'll have to start partying on my one night off. Another thing and I won't go into much detail about it, I was with a very sweet girl for what will be three years on March 3rd. Not going to say it was the perfect relationship or even anything close. Hell it was long distance, she lied about her age for the first six months to make me believe she was only one year younger than me, and her mother intervened more than once. But still, I was sure beyond any doubts that we would be together come next year and that I would spend the rest of my life with this girl. For whatever reason she up and disappeared out of nowhere almost three months ago. So I also have issues with trust and depression.

[Egapal]

Thank you all. I wish I had time to reply to all of your posts but sadly I work third shift at Denso and i'm on about an hour of sleep. Tuesdays and Thursdays are basically school and try to get some sleep between classes. Which is another factor. Even when I don't have school, after sleep, driving, and whatever else I have to do I have about a maximum of five hours free time. But realistically it's about four give or take thirty minutes and even less if I decide to hit the gym. This is why I have no social life. Guess i'll have to start partying on my one night off. Another thing and I won't go into much detail about it, I was with a very sweet girl for what will be three years on March 3rd. Not going to say it was the perfect relationship or even anything close. Hell it was long distance, she lied about her age for the first six months to make me believe she was only one year younger than me, and her mother intervened more than once. But still, I was sure beyond any doubts that we would be together come next year and that I would spend the rest of my life with this girl. For whatever reason she up and disappeared out of nowhere almost three months ago. So I also have issues with trust and depression.

You have to make a point to come into contact with women its key to the whole talking to them thing. Just flat out don't date someone who is living with their parents if you can avoid it. No offense but long distance relationships rarely work unless you have a serious plan. If you are not interacting face to face with a person you aren't really interacting with that person. You are interacting with your idealized image of that person. Face to face or it doesn't really count. Chances are really really good that you are not going to spend the rest of your life with the person you are with at age 20. Ten people will now chime in about how they are. Fact of the matter is that the majority of people are not. The sooner you accept that you are not the exception to the rule the better. Think about it like this. You may win the lottery in the future but you shouldn't live your life assuming you are going to. You may end up being with the next person you fall for for the rest of your life that doesn't mean you should have unrealistic expectations. Focus on today.

Here is something I tell people all the time and at first they think its horrible.

I don't have faith that my wife and I will be together forever. There are things that she could do that would make me want to leave her. There are things she could do that would make me want to leave her. I can't promise her I will always love her. I can't promise we will be together no matter what...forever.

Now here is the part that's important.

Because I believe all of that I work hard ever day to keep our relationship strong. I cherish every day that we are in love. I work hard to never take her for granted or to abuse her trust in me. I strive to have a life of my own. She fell in love with a confident independent man. It makes no sense to become co-dependent. She is the same way and more attractive than me by a decent amount. I know that if I screw up a better man will snatch her up in no time. So I fight to be a better man and partner. We have been together for 7 years. I plan to be with her until the day I die and we both realize that our plan takes work. But its a job we love.

So long story short, trust needs to be earned, so you only have a problem with trust if you don't give people the chance to earn your trust.