Is she actually striking at the males? I've never seen this, but I've seen some females get rather testy and pushy when paired up but never actually strike at a male. Double check your care sheet making sure all is well. Has she been eating?
As far as her not letting you near her, you can control that simply by picking her up. Usually you can just reach around out of reach and pick up from behind, or you can use a snake hook, box, tub lid, etc...to guide her head down and just go in and get her. Once in hand, she'll probably be fine.