You have gotten some valuable advice already. I feel for you, such a traumatic experience is hard to let go.

I do have something to say about this, though :

"if you hate someone, your killing them in your heart."

I completely disagree with this. Quite the opposite, if you hate someone, and continue to hate them, you are keeping them alive in your heart and life.

There is really such a thin line between love and hate. Both require such passion and energy. Both can be all consuming. One of them in a good way, one of them not.

You are keeping him and the memories alive in your heart by hating him in this way. Until you are able to truly let go, this will overshadow your life and sap the energy that you could spend elsewhere.

Actually, to COMPLETELY let go of all emotions related to the person, is like killing them in your heart. They cease to matter.

"put him to rest" in your heart and mind. Have your own little "funeral" for all the feelings you have for him. He will continue on in your life, through your daughter. But he CAN cease to have a meaning in your life.

I know, all this is easier said then done. Someone told me once "fake it till you make it". I thought to myself, thats quite stupid advice, if only it was that easy. But actually, it works. Tell yourself you stop hating him, he is not worth such a passionate role in your life. Tell yourself to stop caring, tell yourself you feel "nothing" for him. You have to remind yourself, force yourself for a while. But it will become second nature and eventually you will be free of all this. It will feel so liberating, too

I wish you good luck, you are already on the right path by realizing that this is not healthy for You and that you want to change things.

ps. please remember english is my second language and sometimes I have a hard time getting my point across, so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors...