I agree with JLC. I have also gone through some major depression in my life. I don't do well in social situations either. That is one reason I love being online. My first suggestion was going to be medication and a therapist but since that has not been successful I suggest change in your life. Do something that you are excited about. Shake it up, but only in a positive way. It sounds like your living arrangement is hard. Can you move out, or get new single roommates? Sometimes change is helpful to get you out of it. I don't know if you have a dog but my dog helps me tremendously. She is always there for me and when I get depressed just having her there sometimes makes me feel better. Also having someone counting on you helps get you up and going when nothing else does. I also recommend major exercise. Exercise releases natural endorphins and will make you feel much better. It is really hard to get up and going when you are depressed but pushing through is the best way to get there.
Also, it is hard but you have to change your thinking. When you find yourself thinking a negative about yourself, force yourself to come up with 2 positives about yourself. Keep a gratitude Journal and force yourself to write down 5 things a day that you are grateful for, something you think others would be jealous of. They may start out small, and repetitive but over time you will notice other things, and discover how much you have, and how much you are capable of.
For me, it took me a long time to realize that sometimes the depression comes without a situational trigger. In the beginning I would look for what I was upset about and then before I knew it I made a mess of something that wasn't the problem. Finally realizing the depression isn't about my life helped me. Now I know that it is just something I have to get through and there is a light on the other side. Depression is lonely no matter how many people are around you. And it sounds like you have a lot of people around you with just your roommate situation.
As far as relationships we have a myth in our culture that a partner will solve everything, you know the Cinderella story. But the truth is a partner is like a good friend, they are there for you when you fall but they can't pick you up. They can just walk with you until you get through. In other words they can't fix it, you have to fix yourself. I am with the love of my life but when I get really depressed, I still feel lonely and not even he can stop that.
Just remember, you are not alone. You have people that love you, even if you don't see it. This is just a down time, and it will get better soon. And you will find the right person for you. Just don't try to force it with the wrong person, then you will be really lonely. Hang in there, and if you want someone to talk to message me.
PS it take the medicine about three months to start working. I don't know how long you gave it but just in case... Exercise is still the fastest pick me up and it has the added bonus of making you feel better about your self.
Reply With Quote