As has been mentioned, we use the vBAdvanced version of vBulletin software. You can go to their website to find out what the different options available are, and what the start-up costs are. And as also been mentioned, there are free options available to start with as well.
Discussing our personal budget and costs would be rather pointless because you won't be starting up a site capable of supporting 20,000+ members and tens of thousands of more visitors. You start out small and then gradually grow and expand as your member base does.