I have several Red Tails myself and actually they were my first love/passion before I got into BPs.

Red Tail in my opinion are just as tame as BPs, just way more active. All mine are very docile, especially the one's I've raised as babies. At times I can tell they don't want to come out so I leave them be. You're a very smart woman and just from your post I can already tell you know what not to do.

Are you certain of the sex of the small one? If it's a male it will stay significantly smaller than the female. All my males usually max out at 5 and 1/2 feet to 6 feet, although I've had a 7 footer before.

All in all I believe they are gorgeous animals (I particularly like their heads better than BPs) and have had NO horrible incidents other than the occasional strike if they seem to be moody.