I'm pretty bummed.

[Igby]

My mother promised me that I could have a ball python after she and I attended the W.A.R.E. show a few months back. For a while, I did not believe her as I am rather prone to pessimism, but since everyone including her are constantly telling me to be more optimistic, I decided to allow myself to feel excited (something which I avoid doing whenever possible as past experience dictates that I should never become excited about anything as i usually regret it).

So...I prepared, made plans. Named the snake. Allowed myself to become attached. This is not something that I normally do. And all the while she continues to assure me that no, she is not going to suddenly take back everything that she says (during periods of time in which I have feelings of "this is too good to be true"). And then the facade is finally dropped. I ask her when she thinks we will be ready to call the breeder that is holding my snake. Suggest that we go out and by everything that will be needed for his husbandry the next day as I have finally saved up enough money. And she promptly tells me that she doesnt want me to buy a snake. Which...really sucks. Especially when I have been promised (and denied) numerous pets in my lifetime due to one thing or another (namely severe allergies to anything with fur or feathers) and finally found something that I like very much and which does not send me to the hospital with my throat closing up. No explanation. No nothing. I feel stupid for actually letting myself fall for it...again.

I usually don't talk about things like this, as it seems pointless. And I am sure that my whining comes off as rather selfish since I live under her roof and she takes care of me and everything. I'm just kind of depressed that another plan fell through. Which is dumb. I shouldn't care. Anywhoo, </end angst-ridden rant>

[eracer]

My mother promised me that I could have a ball python after she and I attended the W.A.R.E. show a few months back. For a while, I did not believe her as I am rather prone to pessimism, but since everyone including her are constantly telling me to be more optimistic, I decided to allow myself to feel excited (something which I avoid doing whenever possible as past experience dictates that I should never become excited about anything as i usually regret it).

So...I prepared, made plans. Named the snake. Allowed myself to become attached. This is not something that I normally do. And all the while she continues to assure me that no, she is not going to suddenly take back everything that she says (during periods of time in which I have feelings of "this is too good to be true"). And then the facade is finally dropped. I ask her when she thinks we will be ready to call the breeder that is holding my snake. Suggest that we go out and by everything that will be needed for his husbandry the next day as I have finally saved up enough money. And she promptly tells me that she doesnt want me to buy a snake. Which...really sucks. Especially when I have been promised (and denied) numerous pets in my lifetime due to one thing or another (namely severe allergies to anything with fur or feathers) and finally found something that I like very much and which does not send me to the hospital with my throat closing up. No explanation. No nothing. I feel stupid for actually letting myself fall for it...again.

I usually don't talk about things like this, as it seems pointless. And I am sure that my whining comes off as rather selfish since I live under her roof and she takes care of me and everything. I'm just kind of depressed that another plan fell through. Which is dumb. I shouldn't care. Anywhoo, </end angst-ridden rant>

Does Mom make it a habit to promise and then renege? If so, she has an emotional problem and could use some therapy. Of course there's no way you could suggest that to her, so you may need to just accept the fact that you will have to wait until you are an adult and out of her house before you are able to do what you want to do.

[PitOnTheProwl]

I know how you feel. I grew up with my grandparents and they were the same way most of the time. It really screws with your head a lot. My wife grew up with lots of love but poor, like she would come home from school and there was either no water or power almost every month.
Well when I got my first credit card, needless to say, we wnt to town on all of our wants and desires. We were both 17 at the time and now going on 35 and still working to get out of debt, so take a higher road than we did and dont go on a spending spree like we did.LOL
Now on a real note, how old are you?
If you really want to have snakes or anything that your mom doesnt approve of, make an envelope for it Write what you want on the front of the envelope then save your money in it till you have enough saved up then seal it. This way when you are ready to move out on your own you will know what is in it and what its for. If you really still want the item then you will have the funding to do it and if your plans have changed you will have cash for that.
Good luck with your plans and remember, It all works out in time if you take control over your time.

[j_h_smith]

Being a father of 4 ranging from 15 to 24, I have never followed through on a promise to my kids. As far as pets go, I can't wait for any of my kids to ask for one. I'm ready with cash in hand wanting them come to me asking for any kind of pet.

I'm just a great Dad.
Jim Smith

[j_h_smith]

After looking at your profile, I see that you are a college student. Is it that your mother won't pay for the snake, or that fact that she doesn't want a snake in her house? If she won't buy it, eat a bunch of PB&J sandwiches and save your money. If she won't allow a snake into her house, then you're out of luck.

Jim Smith

[JLC]

Being a father of 4 ranging from 15 to 24, I have never followed through on a promise to my kids. ...

Is this really what you meant to say, Jim?

To Igby...if you grew up with a mom promising things only to turn around in the end and deny them, then I can completely understand why you'd grow into a pessimistic adult. Hopefully once you're out on your own and have more control over your own life and choices, you'll find some new sparks of optimism.

[j_h_smith]

Is this really what you meant to say, Jim?

To Igby...if you grew up with a mom promising things only to turn around in the end and deny them, then I can completely understand why you'd grow into a pessimistic adult. Hopefully once you're out on your own and have more control over your own life and choices, you'll find some new sparks of optimism.

Yes, it was, except I forgot to include the winky emoticon.

But to clarify, I've always tried to keep my promises to my kids, pet oriented or not. I think children learn alot from how their parents treat them. Even at an early age. My 24 year old has come back and discussed things that happened to him when he was as young as 5 years old.

I think the fact that the OP is a college student speaks volumes of their relationship. I don't know where to go with this, but if a college student wants a snake, it's up to them to buy the snake and everything need to keep that snake. BUT if the parent doesn't want the snake in their house due to fear, you have to respect that and wait until you are out on your own.

[JLC]

Yes, it was, except I forgot to include the winky emoticon.

But to clarify, I've always tried to keep my promises to my kids, pet oriented or not. I think children learn alot from how their parents treat them. ...

I figured that's what you meant. Knowing what little I know of you, I couldn't picture it any other way.

I think the fact that the OP is a college student speaks volumes of their relationship. I don't know where to go with this, but if a college student wants a snake, it's up to them to buy the snake and everything need to keep that snake. BUT if the parent doesn't want the snake in their house due to fear, you have to respect that and wait until you are out on your own.

Agreed 100%.

[mainbutter]

Igby, I went through my entire 4 years of undergrad without reptiles.

My sole pet was a single comet goldfish that cost ~ $0.10

The main reason was that, with the exception of small aquatics, pets were not allowed in dorms.

I waited my four years, and once I was graduated and living in an apartment I could call my own, I began looking around for a more substantial pet.

I understand that finances play a huge role in where a person lives, but my suggestion is to strive to be able to support yourself. I know nothing about your living situation or your mom, but I think it's reasonable for her to set rules within her household.

Making and breaking promises is wrong, but the only thing you can do is try to get out of a situation where you are bound to others' rules.

Good luck with school and everything!

[midwest_98]

Can be depressing to have your hopes up and then the bottom fall out. But keep your head up. A few years or less from now you'll be out on your own starting your collection. Set some money asside when you can in a savings acct, envelope, safe etc etc.

All good things come to those that wait.