It hasn't been proven 100% that spider x spider kills all the offspring, but when people did do it, it never was sucessful, so no one even tries the pairing as it is a big waste of time.
If you breed the parent spider back to a bee, you might get all dead in the egg babies or slugs. I wouldn't do that pairing, but you can try.
The Bee's would not be any brighter, the only way you can make a brighter bee is by using a Lemon Pastel.