The long post is very appreciated! From your description of the light head I would say the female is the one on the left.
Your pastel het clown has another marker that I read about in an old post on another forum. Both of my 100% het clowns have it, and so far almost every 100% het normal that I have seen has it. It doesn't always show up on pastels since the pastel gene scrambles pattern so much, but it is very clear on yours. I have also seen a 100% het normal that did not have it because it was very reduced/banded. Do you know what I am talking about? Your pewter has it as well, although it is more scrambled.
Please not that I am only talking about a marker. It is not a 100% reliable gauge, and just because a possible het does not have it, doesn't mean it is not het. Not all het pieds have the train tracks on thier bellies. Some possible hets that have markers never prove out. The genetics that give each normal it's own unique look sometimes cover up or scramble the het markers.