Hey Ice#1, I just read a VERY SHOCKING REPORT right here... <shocking report>
Did you know that all paper money and coins can contains thousands of bacteria that can make you sick including many of the dreaded salmonella serotypes? Just think of all those hands these bills pass through every day, we could have a pandemic on our hands. As a public service to you and anyone else who may be terrified by this horrible threat, I'm offering to take all of those dirty paper bills off your hands. Just send them all to me and I'll dispose of them in a safe and proper fashion. I know it'll be a terrible burden, but I see it as my civic duty to protect all God fearing American citizens from this dreadful threat. (Heck, I'll even do it for you Canadians, because that's just the kind of helpful guy I am)
In the meantime though I suggest you take all of that righteous wrath that you seem to have in such abundance and march on the federal treasury building in Washington DC demanding that they cease circulating these foul diseased ridden notes of theirs. Think of the safety of the children for goodness sakes...