i have some disturbing news

[cinderbird]

A respectful, caring and loving partner TALKS to their significant other about problems. Not take it upon themselves to do something like that.

My fiance is terrified of snakes. He lives with 9 of them. He does that because he loves me and respects what I love. we do have some other arrangements that make the situation good for both of us.

If i were him, i would be having a serious conversation with her about their future plans. Its one thing for her to not feel comfortable with an animal she gave him permission to get. Its another thing entirely to disrespect him so much by doing what she did.

[Bones]

This was my first response, how messed up in so many ways

Agreed.

In his defense, he brought the snake home after she okay'd it. She shouldn't have just gotten rid of it without consulting him. How hard is it to be honest, sit him down and say "I know I said it was okay for you to have this snake, but I am feeling really uneasy about it"?

That just shows the lack of respect she has for him if she's selfish enough to get rid of a pet that he really wanted and likes, especially after she gave approval. This girl is not a keeper.

[appygirl84]

That is awful. Did he ever find out what she did with his snake?
I'd probably break up with her, I mean if my boyfriend just got rid of one of my animals... I'd be livid. I didn't talk to my parents for weeks when they put my horse down with out telling me, but those are my parents. I don't think any guy could get away with something like that. No matter how long we had been together. So he shouldn't let her get away with it either.
As for his own place, can he afford it? Do you have any friends looking for roommates? I hope he finds out what she did with the snake. If only for peace of mind.

[mainbutter]

Whether or not he kicks her to the curb because of this, I 100% guarantee you that they are not going to make it together.

If they stay together, they will both be miserable.

[PghBall]

my friend wanted a bp very badly. he would always come over my house & hold my bp, he fell in love with it. so he decided to get one. his girlfriend that he lives with is terrified of snakes. but she finally said "ok go ahead & get it". she allowed him to get it even though she didnt want him to AT ALL. once he got it he had to feed it in 2 days because the pet shop had the snake for a month & hadnt fed it... (wtf) but anyways, his girlfriend MADE him feed the bp outside because she was scared of the little mouse. the snake ate & my friend was so happy, he called me & he was very excited the snake ate with no problems. the next day i called him & he answered the phone like "its all bad, very bad news." he told me he came home from work & the snake was not in the tank.... his girlfriend told him "im sorry but i had to get rid of that snake, i wasnt feelin it at all. i hate that thing so i got rid of it". he doesnt know if she killed it or let it looce, but that snake is gone.

Not a good sign of a "healthy relationship" Your friend needs to cut his losses and kick her to the curb. Either that or just give up herping while she is in his life. His choice.

[wolfy-hound]

#1 she's an animal abuser UNLESS she found it a good home with a keeper who knows what they're doing.
#2 she's a liar for saying it was okay for him to get it, when it obviously was not.
#3 she doesn't see anything wrong with what she did.

If he stays with her, and thinks it's fine, he's got almost as many issues as she does.

Lastly, he should not have gotten the snake knowing she felt that way, whether she said it was okay or not. When she made him take it outside to feed it, that should have clued him in as well.

But of course, we have only one side of the story, through a 3rd party, so no telling what actually happened either. But from the story as told, I wouldn't want to be around either of those two, and especially not around her!

[anatess]

There's something wrong with this story...

I was in the same boat as the g/f. My husband has been wanting a snake since before we got married and I say no. I'm deathly scared of them. All my family (that includes aunt and uncles and cousins) except for one brother does not go into my house anymore. I would have been one of them. But, after 10 years of marriage, I finally relented. So, I can understand how the g/f felt.

BUT... what is wrong with this story... he comes home and the snake is gone. How did THAT happen? Being deathly scared of snakes, I wouldn't have had the courage to go NEAR the enclosure let alone OPEN it. If that was me and I changed my mind (which I can imagine completely happening), I would stay at a friend's for a while until we figure things out.

Or I would call my husband and tell him I can't handle it and to please move the snake somewhere out of the house. Or, if I was a real mean witch, I would call a friend to get rid of it...

So, since we know the husband didn't know anything about it, then there's gotta be an accomplice, unless the story we got is flawed.

Intriguing mystery, this one.

[Ham]

That is a horrible story, he needs to threaten her with a call to the police, as what she did is illegal for multiple reasons, thats theft, animal cruelty, and possibly release of a non native species, she could go to jail for that! Maybe after he threatens her with legal action she will admit what she actually did with it...

If my girlfriend did this I would go absolutely ballistic! I would probably end up in jail myself after the way I would respond to this.

How could someone do that to someones pet! and then refuse to tell them what happened! Would she sell her baby to gypsies if she didnt like it anymore? As far as I am concerned what she did is on almost the same level as that.

[wilomn]

But of course, we have only one side of the story, through a 3rd party, so no telling what actually happened either. But from the story as told, I wouldn't want to be around either of those two, and especially not around her!

MAN, you people are quick to crucify. I hope none of you are ever on a jury anyone I know is in front of. Facts don't seem to mean squat.

Cept for you Wolfy, but I know where you cut your teeth.

[wilomn]

Maybe the paranoia is simply increasing, maybe they're just becoming more obvious, but it sure does feel like this site has become some psych students thesis study.