Look at the bright side.
Wife could have had a serious accident and you were responsible.
Other car caught fire due to a loose gas line, wife got out but is in the hospital.
Had a garage sale because I don't have enough money to pay the rent.
I stopped getting paid because it was garnished.
I'm being deployed for 8 months to the biggest, hottest sandbox.
Found my little het pied dead today.
My rental car took a crap today.
Jim Smith