29 Universal Truths

[stratus_020202]

I got this in an e-mail this morning. Everyone deserves a good laugh, and most of it is true.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

9. Bad decisions make good stories.

10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after BlueRay? I don't want to have to restart my collection ... again.

12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

13. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

14. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

15. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

16. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

18. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid " routing option.

19. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger..

22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an a ** from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants, never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

25. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

26. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

27. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

[Dragoon]

#4 is a needed. someone needs to fix that, or rename italics

[alittleFREE]

Haha, this was great. #11, #20, #21, and #26 were my favorites.

[Beardedragon]

These are like facebook Fan groups

*like

[Oxylepy]

No to number 2. I usually just admit it, appologize and go from there. Although I rarely have arguments, mostly debates.

OMG number 12, totally true.

17, the one at work has one. Its awesome. I know when the kitchen light is off where the ice is for my tea.

Number 20: I walk. To make 2 trips means going to the store twice. At an hour a trip.... Yeah, I just load myself to the point I have to take half inch steps.

[stratus_020202]

Lol. I know! I was cracking up (in a quiet office setting). I couldn't help but spread a little around. Hopefully I'm not the only one getting strange looks.

[PYMOM]

ok im going to copy and put one a day on my fb page

[PYMOM]

20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

that is so me....i would rather cut off my circulation to my fingers and have red cut marks all over my arms...than make a second trip

[tonyaltn]

#11 ... Agree!

#14 ... That drives me nuts!

#17 ... Nah, the ice cream bucket is the biggest thing in there, easy to find!

#18 ... And a scenic route option! (If its already there ill feel stupid, lol)

I want to add a couple more, but .... read #8 .... Bye.

[Emohooker]

I have a few more you can add

Never date girls with superbowl rings

Never hold a cat and a dustbuster at the same time

never take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night