adopted a ball python new here a bit scared

[WingedWolfPsion]

Ball pythons are very touchy about feeding. This is why folks are telling you to make sure the snake is settled into its new home, and feels secure and comfortable, and is EATING, before you handle it.
A ball python that is eating regularly is generally in good shape--they usually go off feed at the first sign of a problem.
Ball pythons are well adapted to spend the breeding season (4 to 6 months) fasting. The trouble is, they're so touchy, they can literally starve themselves to death while waiting for conditions to improve (in their perception).

Sleeping with a ball python is really a bad idea--the potential to accidentally injure the snake is a big concern--chances are that at some point, the snake will simply take off and wind up hiding somewhere in your home. They can be hard to find, and they have no sense of self-preservation when it comes to cold temperatures.

Then too, there was the rather funny story of someone's ball python that was very tame, and was lounging with them on the couch....the snake bit them in the armpit. No one is really sure why--pheromones, heat, etc, perhaps. But it shows that their instincts can be triggered by strange things sometimes, and they're really not entirely predictable.

Get your new pet settled well into his home, and respect that fact that he's a reptile--he will never love you. He will come to accept that you are part of his life, given time. He's got a personality, and he has emotions...but they are primitive emotions. He doesn't have the emotional centers for complex things like love, because pythons do not care for their offspring, and do not form any bonds with their mates. They simply have no need for that type of emotion. (I am a breeder--female snakes will coil around and guard their eggs, but the moment they are away from them, they return to normal behavior without the slightest pause--their instinct to care for the eggs also ends when the eggs hatch, if they are left with the eggs. Baby snakes are on their own).

You will have to appreciate him for what he is--a unique being with his own personality and entirely different needs and desires from yours. Don't anthropomorphize--learn to understand what ball pythons really want and need.

The population of this forum is comprised of experienced breeders and keepers, intermediate level pet keepers, and newbies like yourself. You should most certainly pay attention to advice given by breeders. Breeding reptiles is much more complex than breeding mammals. Reptiles will generally only breed when conditions are optimal.

If you want to be sure that your snake is happy, feed him. If he eats, he is probably fairly happy. If he doesn't, then something IS wrong, and it's up to you to find it, and fix it.