Ladies of Bp.Net, I need some help.

[shescountry89]

I feel absolutely retarded for coming on here, and asking what you think of this. But I am sitting here and none of my 'friends' are responding to my texts. So. here it goes.

Have you ever dated a guy, who told you he wanted you to be less indepedent? And that the only reason why you have so many animals, aka snakes is that since they are animals they will never leave you because everyone else does? My boyfriend of almost 2 months told me this last night, and I mearly(sp) told him that it was because I've been raised with animals, have a deep passion for them and its something I love and makes me happy.

I don't know how to respond to this, we've been dating less than 2 months and he wants me to move in with him already. But told me I am only allowed to have a certain amount of snakes. I took him to one reptile show, and I know for a fact he won't go back. He kind of makes fun of it. I really like this guy, for once I've found someone who really does care and for once doesn't treat me like garbage. But he doesn't accept the hobbies, and things I love.

I should be the happiest girl alive right now, but instead I feel crappy. And have no idea how to deal with this. So if you have experience, I need some help because I honestly don't know if I can handle another disapointment, if this doesn't work. I give up.

I'm used to having some space, but he wants me with him every waking minute. He doesn't like doing what I do, only wants me out drinking every night with his friends. It's taking a toll on me, I work a lot and i'm exhausted. Mentally and physically. I was raised to be an independant woman, and not to depend on people. It's like hes asking me to change myself.

[waltah!]

Well I don't have the required lady parts to fit the bill with your thread title, but if he doesn't accept the things you love as legit then it could end up being an issue later on. This is a very young relationship, and it sounds like maybe you think things are going a bit fast. I learned a long time ago not to change who you are to suit your partner. Just ask my ex wife

[blackcrystal22]

I could not stand being with my boyfriend every waking minute. And I've been dating him 3 years.

He needs to respect your passion, your hobby. Do NOT move in with him after two months. It sounds like he's a bit more controlling than anything.

You never should be happy or not. You feel the way you feel about something. It's something that can not be changed, trust your instincts.

Be yourself, and if he doesn't like that, kick him to the side of the road. There will be plenty other men out there that will respect your passion more, as well as who you are and how often you want to see him.

[wolfy-hound]

Dump him now. He's a controller. He doesn't want you to have the animals because they take you attention away from him. He wants you to move in with him so you will be in "his space", and therefor more under his thumb. He's already dictacting to you what you will and will not have and do. He already doesn't make you happy, he doesn't want you to do what you like to do, so why are you even bothering to ask other people?

Why should you be the "happiest girl alive"? Just becuase he said he wants you to move in with him? You don't need him. You are your own person, with your own goals and life, and just wanting to be with someone just because they are willing to say yes is no reason at all.

Dump him. He's treating you like garbage already, he's just doing it with a smile on his face.

[wilomn]

Dump him now. He's a controller. He doesn't want you to have the animals because they take you attention away from him. He wants you to move in with him so you will be in "his space", and therefor more under his thumb. He's already dictacting to you what you will and will not have and do. He already doesn't make you happy, he doesn't want you to do what you like to do, so why are you even bothering to ask other people?

Why should you be the "happiest girl alive"? Just becuase he said he wants you to move in with him? You don't need him. You are your own person, with your own goals and life, and just wanting to be with someone just because they are willing to say yes is no reason at all.

Dump him. He's treating you like garbage already, he's just doing it with a smile on his face.

Yup.

Wolfy said it. You should take this advice.

[shescountry89]

Well I don't have the required lady parts to fit the bill with your thread title, but if he doesn't accept the things you love as legit then it could end up being an issue later on. This is a very young relationship, and it sounds like maybe you think things are going a bit fast. I learned a long time ago not to change who I am to suit your partner. Just ask my ex wife

Things are going way to fast for me, I'm not ready for it and I've tried explaining it to him but it's like it goes in one ear and out the other.

I could not stand being with my boyfriend every waking minute. And I've been dating him 3 years.

He needs to respect your passion, your hobby. Do NOT move in with him after two months. It sounds like he's a bit more controlling than anything.

You never should be happy or not. You feel the way you feel about something. It's something that can not be changed, trust your instincts.

Be yourself, and if he doesn't like that, kick him to the side of the road. There will be plenty other men out there that will respect your passion more, as well as who you are and how often you want to see him.

I told him that seeing eachother everyday wasn't a great idea, every other day would be just fine because it gives you time to miss that person. He says his ex he dated for 5 years almost lived with him and she was always begging to hang with him everyday. I told him I am not his ex, and not everyone is like that. I am trying to trust my instincts, it's just hard when I thought he was the first actual decent guy to come into my life.

I'm afriad that if I let it go, nothing is ever going to happen.

Dump him now. He's a controller. He doesn't want you to have the animals because they take you attention away from him. He wants you to move in with him so you will be in "his space", and therefor more under his thumb. He's already dictacting to you what you will and will not have and do. He already doesn't make you happy, he doesn't want you to do what you like to do, so why are you even bothering to ask other people?

Why should you be the "happiest girl alive"? Just becuase he said he wants you to move in with him? You don't need him. You are your own person, with your own goals and life, and just wanting to be with someone just because they are willing to say yes is no reason at all.

Dump him. He's treating you like garbage already, he's just doing it with a smile on his face.

Your right, I keep telling myself that I am happy. When deep down I really am not and it didn't hit me until tonight when he got upset that we couldn't hang out when we spent all day yesterday and the whole weekend together. He took me on a walk and talked to me about "commitment" and that he'd like it if I texted/called him more than I already do to tell him what I am doing during the day.

I am asking because I don't want to make the wrong decision and regret it, I told him straight up that I was not getting rid of any of my animals and had plans with what I wanted to go. He just thought it was funny because I was getting really defensive over an animal.

[Minja777]

Agreed 100%. Great advice Wolfy.

Dump him now. He's a controller. He doesn't want you to have the animals because they take you attention away from him. He wants you to move in with him so you will be in "his space", and therefor more under his thumb. He's already dictacting to you what you will and will not have and do. He already doesn't make you happy, he doesn't want you to do what you like to do, so why are you even bothering to ask other people?

Why should you be the "happiest girl alive"? Just becuase he said he wants you to move in with him? You don't need him. You are your own person, with your own goals and life, and just wanting to be with someone just because they are willing to say yes is no reason at all.

Dump him. He's treating you like garbage already, he's just doing it with a smile on his face.

[WingedWolfPsion]

And that the only reason why you have so many animals, aka snakes is that since they are animals they will never leave you because everyone else does?

Someone who said that to me would no longer be a friend, much less a boyfriend.
I consider a statement like that to be a huge red flag. This guy is trying to make you feel worthless, like he's doing you a favor by being your boyfriend.

He is NOT treating you well, he's just treating you crappy in a different way than others have before.

There are GOOD men out there. Seriously. You just have to keep looking, and be willing to throw back the fish that aren't worth keeping. You deserve someone who is supportive of your interests, and loves you for who you are. Remember, whether he loves you are not is irrelevant here. He isn't making you happy, so this isn't going to work. Try again with someone more compatible.

[LadyOhh]

He doesn't respect what you want or what you enjoy.

Don't bother with it anymore if you are uncomfortable with that prospect.

I wouldn't.

[bsash]

I feel absolutely retarded for coming on here, and asking what you think of this. But I am sitting here and none of my 'friends' are responding to my texts. So. here it goes.

Have you ever dated a guy, who told you he wanted you to be less indepedent? And that the only reason why you have so many animals, aka snakes is that since they are animals they will never leave you because everyone else does? My boyfriend of almost 2 months told me this last night, and I mearly(sp) told him that it was because I've been raised with animals, have a deep passion for them and its something I love and makes me happy.

I don't know how to respond to this, we've been dating less than 2 months and he wants me to move in with him already. But told me I am only allowed to have a certain amount of snakes. I took him to one reptile show, and I know for a fact he won't go back. He kind of makes fun of it. I really like this guy, for once I've found someone who really does care and for once doesn't treat me like garbage. But he doesn't accept the hobbies, and things I love.

I should be the happiest girl alive right now, but instead I feel crappy. And have no idea how to deal with this. So if you have experience, I need some help because I honestly don't know if I can handle another disapointment, if this doesn't work. I give up.

I'm used to having some space, but he wants me with him every waking minute. He doesn't like doing what I do, only wants me out drinking every night with his friends. It's taking a toll on me, I work a lot and i'm exhausted. Mentally and physically. I was raised to be an independant woman, and not to depend on people. It's like hes asking me to change myself.

Alright, I am so glad I found your post! My last relation ship was just like this. We dated for two years, but just like you stated, very early on he is trying to take charge. From my findings of my last relationship, it's not going to work out either way. I will admit I was hooked on the guy, and I listened and got rid of my last snakes that I had, and we spent all the time in the world together, almost none of which was with my friends. But it doesn't end there... first it's the snakes, next they will want you to move in with them, maybe stop talking to certain friends that you have, etc.. Over all, they end up just wanting to be the dominate one, and control every aspect of your life, and I am not the one for that. I lost a lot of friends from that relation ship, and well, my animals of course.

I don't want to bring you down, I'm just saying, most likely it is not going to stop with just the snakes, it will continue into other things, and nothing will be good enough for him. I do wish you the best, and again, I don't want to bring you down, just wanted to let you in on my life so hopefully you will make the right decision for you.