1st port of call would be a rep vet and get them probed or do it yourself if you can you would expect the larger of the two if the same age be the female so my suspicions would be raised as far as that is concerned.

You can always tame the aggressive one down a bit but will take more time if it has had no regular handling.

at 2 and half years they are approaching or very near to maturity so you would expect the female to have caught up and overtaken the male by now.

Yes definitely get them probed mate so there is no doubt.