Ever feel like....(rant)

[the_Ryno]

You just need to jump in a car, drive as far away as you can and start from scratch? Because that is exactly what I feel like right now.

I feel like nothing in my life is going right at all right now. I'm on academic probation at school, have no job, cant figure things out with my ex, have literally no friends and feel like I am going nowhere in life.

School is a drag and I honestly went to class all of maybe twice per class I was taking last semester. I have no motivation to sit in a class that has nothing to do with what I want to do with my life. I know I want to get into Zoology and/or Marine Biology but can do either of those things being stuck in a Community College in Kansas. Sitting in a classroom is not how I learn, I learn by being hands on and being out in the field. I rather walk around a crappy zoo all day than sit in a class room all day simply being I could find something that I am interested in and learn something about animals. I need to get out of where I am to do what I want to do with my life but don't see that happening right now.

I love my ex more than anything, and she knows it and it seems like she is using that knowledge to toy with me and just drag me along until I am smart enough to just cut all tied with her. I know I can find better than her, but don't want to simply because I love her so much and am so happy when I am with her. We used to see each other everyday even after we did break up, but I haven't seen her in over four weeks now. She always tells me she is busy, or some lame excuse that I see right through. She is always saying she misses me, but when I ask to hang out she doesn't want to. This alone should be enough for me to be smart and just move on, but I just can't get myself to. I think changing my phone number and cutting off all ways of contact with her is the best thing, but cant bring myself do that.

Im hoping that once school starts again in about two and a half weeks I will start to be more social and what not and finally start to get some friends. I'd like to think that I am easy to get along with and everything. I do have a very crude sense of humor, things people find to be extremely funny, I typically find to be stupid, and things people think are stupid are extremely funny to me.

I try to get out and do things that make me happy, but most of them are no fun to do alone. My favorite thing to do is go out and go bowling,but with people and not alone. I hate doing things that I am passionate about with people that aren't as into something as me, because when I get into a new hobby or interest I go all out and learn as much about that thing as I can, and am a sponge to information. And I feel weird because I tend to talk about what I know, even if the people around don't care at all.

The times in my life that I have been the happiest are when I have been on cruises. You have a bunch of new people in front of you that know nothing about you at all, its a fresh slate. I am a naturally shy person who typically will not just go up to anyone and try to start talking, so I enjoy being put into situations where its necessary to get to know people in order to enjoy what is going on around you.

I wish I could just pack up and move out to the coast and get into a school that is going to enable me to be where I want to be in my life ten years from now. But being a broke 19yr old makes that nearly impossible.


/end rant.
I don't care if anyone reads this, just needed to get things off my chest at nearly 3:30AM. I know if anyone does reply to this that they will give quality advice, which is why I LOVE this place even though I don't post to often,

[BPHERP]

Ryan,

Being a broke 19yr old is your greatest asset. Instead of having a wife, 3 kids and a mortgage, you are basically a free man.

That being said, I suggest working on a cruise ship. Sign up for a 6 month contract. You will see new people every week. Never look back.

Problem solved?

Brandon

[withonor]

The hardest thing to deal with when you're having problems, and I say with experience, is other people. That includes intimate relationships. Other people have their own agenda and only reveal enough of it to try and maintain their interests. (There are situations that this doesn't apply to but an ex is one where it does) The easy answer will always be to get over it. Doesn't always work and isn't always the best solution. You have to assess this relationship for yourself and make the best decision with your happiness in mind.

The second hardest thing to deal with is money. You can't live without it unless your family (or anyone can support you) or you trespass onto someone elses property and live like a wild man surviving on nature. You could commit a crime and go to jail and get three square meals a day. You may just have to look at jobs you wouldn't have considered before. Most fast food places have NOW HIRING signs. When you apply for a better job when the economy starts to turn around it will look better that you worked and were making an effort.

Now ask yourself who is the most important person in your life. You can have two answers to this but the first answer always needs to be yourself. When you have kids you may have multiple answers but the first always has to be yourself. If you can't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of anyone else. With that in mind you have to figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself.

School is a good thing. If you're looking at making new friends at the same time science classes with labs are a pretty good way to do that and fit your major. Speech classes are great because bonding with your classmates is the easiest way to get through that. Most classes that I take that aren't math/engineering/somewhat-science related all require a lot of interaction and most often some kind of group work. Keep that stuff in mind when you sign up for next semester.

Sometimes it's okay to do things you love by yourself too. You shouldn't feel like there is some social need to be accompanied by others. At some point interaction is needed and should be seeked out then. If you love to bowl, do it. In the Air Force we had $0.50 a game days at the bowling alley. I would go and knock out 26 games because it was fun and I got better. I often think I am my own best challenger.

The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Once you're set, then focus on others. Most people who "appear" to be very caring and helpful beyond belief are the most selfish.

[withonor]

...broke...19yr old...free man...

Could you have truely appreciated that as a 19 year old? I know I couldn't have though I was in the military with a couple years left. The broke part would still suck either way. At 29 now having had my life controlled for 4-1/2 years by the military and having lived in debt with credit cards and car payments and insurance, etc... I truely appreciate having none of those burdens now.

It is a great time to make mistakes though when you're 19 with no responsibilities.



Free is a very loose term. You can never be free and be a part of society.

[BPelizabeth]

I know at 19...I seem ancient at 43...but honestly....been there. When you have problems in your relationship....it affects all aspects of your life....IF YOU LET IT!! My hubby has a great saying....."only you can control your emotions...dont let someone else dictate them". Easier said than done...but true.

I mean this ......This too shall pass!! It will! I think Brandons idea is awesome. You are free to go out and do anything right now....how exciting! You can create who you are going to be for the rest of your life....really...that is pretty cool. If you stay in school....go to school!! Remember that your choices with school will affect the rest of your life. Do what you love...not what will pay you the most money...that will come eventually. But doing what you love will net you more wealth in your life.

The girl...there are a millions out there...really. Apparently this one was not meant to be ....move on and stop glamourizing the relationship. Remember the things that are not good in the relationship. I think sometimes we tend to look back at how awesome it was when there were allot of ways we could of been treated better. Remember when it is forever the person better have a great personality because we are all going to pretty much look the same in our 70's. lol.

[Bhikku]

That being said, I suggest working on a cruise ship. Sign up for a 6 month contract. You will see new people every week. Never look back.

^ This is an AWESOME suggestion. I have a friend who is in his twenties who works as a bartender on cruiseliners in the Bahamas. He adores it and at the moment has absolutely no desire to do anything else.

[j_h_smith]

Only to have the troubles of a 19 year old. Not meaning to bust on you, but your problems are but that of your world. Come into the world of the adult with family. Look at the issues you'll have to deal with once you're old enough,at least one mortgage, 2 car payments, a few kids in college, and the big one...a wife going through the change of life. PMS has nothing on this stage of a woman's life.

Kids are a wonderful thing as long as you can spank them and send them to bed.

If you've ever been in debt and then have something else go wrong and you just don't know where the money is going to come from to pay that unexpected bill. Have the police come to your door at 2 am. Have the hospital call you at 5 am. Have 2 traffic accidents in the only 2 cars you own within a month of each other. Get a call from your wife saying the doctor wants to see her immediately. Son says "we" need to talk and you're going to be a grandfather and they're going to have to move into your house. You find out you've got to have an operation and you'll be out of work for 6 months. You find out on December 20th, you're being fired after 20 years on the job.

I'm not saying you don't have problems, but in the scheme of the universe, your problems may not be as bad as you think they are.

Go to school, find a new girlfriend, do the best you can and drag your butt out of bed every morning because it's what you need to do. If you want to do something in zoology, you're going to need schooling. That is unless picking up trash at the zoo is in your future.

Sorry be so hardnosed, but growing up is your reality and reality is not kind to most of us.
Jim Smith

[BPelizabeth]

Only to have the troubles of a 19 year old. Not meaning to bust on you, but your problems are but that of your world. Come into the world of the adult with family. Look at the issues you'll have to deal with once you're old enough,at least one mortgage, 2 car payments, a few kids in college, and the big one...a wife going through the change of life. PMS has nothing on this stage of a woman's life.

Kids are a wonderful thing as long as you can spank them and send them to bed.

If you've ever been in debt and then have something else go wrong and you just don't know where the money is going to come from to pay that unexpected bill. Have the police come to your door at 2 am. Have the hospital call you at 5 am. Have 2 traffic accidents in the only 2 cars you own within a month of each other. Get a call from your wife saying the doctor wants to see her immediately. Son says "we" need to talk and you're going to be a grandfather and they're going to have to move into your house. You find out you've got to have an operation and you'll be out of work for 6 months. You find out on December 20th, you're being fired after 20 years on the job.

I'm not saying you don't have problems, but in the scheme of the universe, your problems may not be as bad as you think they are.

Go to school, find a new girlfriend, do the best you can and drag your butt out of bed every morning because it's what you need to do. If you want to do something in zoology, you're going to need schooling. That is unless picking up trash at the zoo is in your future.

Sorry be so hardnosed, but growing up is your reality and reality is not kind to most of us.
Jim Smith

Ok ....I need your address as I am sending you a bottle of wine!

[withonor]

Old people telling young people their problems aren't very significant in the universe... I hope I never get that bitter.

A person makes the choice to own a car, get married, have kids, buy a house or anything that comes with responsibility. The difficulties that come along with those choices do NOT in anyway diminish the difficulties a person, who has yet to choose or chose otherwise, may have.

I love the insinuation that to be an adult you have to live a predefined lifestyle. It's like being handed a multiple choice test and the administer tells you that you can choose anything but in the end the correct answer will always be "A".

[j_h_smith]

Ok ....I need your address as I am sending you a bottle of wine!

These are not my problems, if they were I would have killed myself long ago. These are things that you can look forward to growing up.

Jim Smith