In Law Woes

[Jay_Bunny]

Ok, now this is just getting annoying. I have all my animals on a feeding schedule. The cats have their dry food in an auto feeder and get wet food a few times a week. The dog gets kibble during the day and wet food at night. The bird gets fed once a day a pellet food with some seeds. The rats get mazuri lab block, a little dog kibble, and fresh food (a few times a week).

Now, a few nights ago, I had been working an evening shift and when I got home, my dog was walking around with a really bloated stomach. We are talking this dog looked like he was going to blow. He wasn't interested in his food at all when I went to feed him and when I went upstairs, I found a bowl of kibble in our bedroom that had been "moistened" with water. For some strange reason my mother in law feels its necessary to feed the dog kibble with water in it "because dogs like it wet like that. He'll eat it more." It was soggy and really nasty when I found it. *bangs head on wall* So then this morning, I walk in to feed my bird and rats. Inside one rat's cage I found a stale biscuit (the kind from KFC) and I also found a piece of stale biscuit in my bird's food dish! I am livid. Why does she take it upon herself to feed my animals food that I have time and time again told her not to feed to them. I've actually told her to just not feed them at all. The other night, she was eating some kind of meat that had a bone in it. Of course, my dog, being the untrained thing he is, was sitting by her feet, begging for the bone. Now, I have a strict rule about no cooked bones. Raw ones are fine because they don't splinter, but cooked ones are an absolute no. As she was pulling the meat off the bone, I said "Do not give that to him. Its cooked." She looked down at Bailey, my dachshund and said to him "Your mommy said no. She says its bad for you. I'm sorry Bailey." but she said it in a way that made me want to scream.

We are hopefully moving in February. We were going to be moving this month, but the people living in the house we are going to rent needed an extra few months to get into another place. I can't wait till we have our own space and I don't have to worry about my animals getting food they are not supposed to have. There are reasons I don't like to give my dog table scraps. There are reasons I don't feed bread or biscuits to my bird and rats.

I put a sign on the Animal Room door (we keep the snakes, bird, rats, and ferrets in one room. When we move, the ferrets will get their own room) that says not to feed any of the animals in that room. I hope she sees it and respects it. I don't even want her setting foot inside that door. We pay rent to her so she needs to respect our stuff and our animals. One day I'd gone into the animal room and she had sprayed "air freshener" (that nasty floral chemical smelling stuff that I swear is going to give me cancer) in the Animal room and my first thought was the health of my animals. They don't need to be breathing that stuff.

Ugh. I just don't know what to do with her. We can't move until February. I understand that maybe she just likes to care for others and maybe wants to "spoil" her grandbabies but I have rules and they need to be respected. I don't feed her animals unless asked to do so, and she should do the same for me.

Sorry, I just needed to rant somewhere and maybe get some advice.

[Jaydizzl05]

Wow that must be frustrating, have you confronted her every time she does something like this? Potentially she could make your animals sick and I can't imagine how I would feel if that was me.
I would talk to her and explain your situation without flying off the handle. Hopefully she will be more considerate to your rules.

[snakecharmer3638]

Have you explained to her that the health of your animals is at risk? Or have you just said, This is the way I do it. Maybe she does not realize that she could possibly make your animals sick. Maybe she does not know that cooked bones splinter easy and could hurt your dog.

[Jay_Bunny]

With cooked bones, I have explained to her several times that they splinter and I would not enjoy having to rush my dog to the vet because he has a bone splinter lodged in his throat or intestines. A few nights ago she was eating a chicken leg and one of her cats grabbed it off the plate. I wanted to take the bone from him but she said "No, let him have it." "But it will splinter and that could hurt him." "No, he does fine with bones." You also have to understand, she has three cats, all of whom are indoor/outdoor and she doesn't give them flea meds other than a flea collar (which I can't stand) and most of the time they don't wear those either. Ugh! She's just a lady stuck in her ways and I understand this, but these are MY kids. I decide what is best for them.

And yes, I have told her that bread and foods like it are harmful to birds and rodents because it swells in their stomach which can cause all sorts of problems, ESPECIALLY for birds. But she does it anyway. Apparently if there is no food in one of my animals' bowls, I'm starving them. I provide a constant source of kibble to the cats only because I have 4 of them and feeding them that was is easier. They don't overeat. Bailey would eat himself into seizures if I let him. And I find a great grain-free treat for him (No-Grainers. Best treats ever!) and she goes out and buys him Ol' Roy Tiny Special T's.

First few ingredients: wheat flour, soy flour, water, corn flour, sucrose, propylene glycol, animal fat....wth? I mean c'mon! No-Grainers have some plant material in them but they are better than Ol' Roy. Actually I found these treats at work that I'm going to start buying him. They are all natural and have little to no plant ingredients in them. Of course, I also might invest in a dehydrator and just make him his very own jerky treats.

[Jaydizzl05]

With cooked bones, I have explained to her several times that they splinter and I would not enjoy having to rush my dog to the vet because he has a bone splinter lodged in his throat or intestines. A few nights ago she was eating a chicken leg and one of her cats grabbed it off the plate. I wanted to take the bone from him but she said "No, let him have it." "But it will splinter and that could hurt him." "No, he does fine with bones." You also have to understand, she has three cats, all of whom are indoor/outdoor and she doesn't give them flea meds other than a flea collar (which I can't stand) and most of the time they don't wear those either. Ugh! She's just a lady stuck in her ways and I understand this, but these are MY kids. I decide what is best for them.

And yes, I have told her that bread and foods like it are harmful to birds and rodents because it swells in their stomach which can cause all sorts of problems, ESPECIALLY for birds. But she does it anyway. Apparently if there is no food in one of my animals' bowls, I'm starving them. I provide a constant source of kibble to the cats only because I have 4 of them and feeding them that was is easier. They don't overeat. Bailey would eat himself into seizures if I let him. And I find a great grain-free treat for him (No-Grainers. Best treats ever!) and she goes out and buys him Ol' Roy Tiny Special T's.

First few ingredients: wheat flour, soy flour, water, corn flour, sucrose, propylene glycol, animal fat....wth? I mean c'mon! No-Grainers have some plant material in them but they are better than Ol' Roy. Actually I found these treats at work that I'm going to start buying him. They are all natural and have little to no plant ingredients in them. Of course, I also might invest in a dehydrator and just make him his very own jerky treats.

Sounds like you should sit down with her and explain to her that these are YOUR babies. But good luck either way

For out dog, since we live in Alaska, there's a company here that makes an all natural dog treat. Have to find out the name.

[snakecharmer3638]

Well I hope she comes around before you have to make a trip to the vet.

Good Luck.

[mainbutter]

Count your blessings that she is friendly towards the animals!

[Elise.m]

I know all too well why you're irritated. My future MIL is that exact way, but with her it's a power play. She feels she doesn't have control over her life, so she tries to control someone elses. Since we moved out, it hasn't been as bad, but there are times she'll still try to play that game.

It's something that can't be talked through (In my experience), because they think you don't know what you're talking about and since they're the older and wiser one, they're always right. Until you take her somewhere, or she sees some "professional" say the same things you have been saying for who knows how long, she won't stop.

My friend's MIL is the same way. I swear they all collaborate sometimes...

[Big Gunns]

Problem solved very easily. Figure out exactly what bugs the **place all BG's enemies are going*** out of her, and keep doing it. Do it, and do it some more..... eventually she'll get the message.

[MarkS]

You're living in your In-laws home. It's THEIR HOUSE. I'd be counting my blessings that they're allowing you to keep all of those animals in THEIR home.