Great news!
Yes, I feel the same way as far as handling. Here's my list of rules for establishing relationships with varanids:
1. NEVER smell like anything other than yourself. Most people know the obvious of never smelling like food, but I go one step further and never have cologne, hand cream, sanitizer or soap residue on my hands when working with them. Just rinse thoroughly with warm water and then that way they will smell you and nothing but you and the smell will always be the same.
2. Take things at THEIR pace. Don't force anything upon them. If they don't come close to you; don't push it. If you don't have patience, then don't get monitors. I have been working with an Ornate monitor since August of 08. He's 16 months old now and still does not like to be picked up. So I don't. Petting, stroking and feeding are non-eventful wonderful times of interaction, but as you can tell, there is still no picking up... yet.
3. Work with them in THEIR territory. As soon as you take a monitor, tame or not, and put it into an unfamiliar space, you are asking for trouble. With calm, established adults who have proved their trust in you ventures can start a little at a time, but until then work in the enclosure only. That's one of the reasons for the larger ones a walk-in is a mandatory requirement.
4. Establish "feeding cues", either a behavior or sound that let them know when it's feeding time. This way you are not getting charged with the expectation of food. My Ornate is fed at the same time every day and he is given the cue of "Treats". And he responds accordingly!
That's the main ones. There's probably more I can't think of off the top of my head
Chris