How are you approaching him? When he gets all hissy, do you immediately go into defensive behavior yourself?
hesitating, and not being steady/direct will cause a snake to get jumpy, and more stressed out.
If using a snake hook/tongs keeps the stress down, then thats the way you want to go about it.
How about your enclosure, and how you approach the animal that way? Maybe a different enclosure is needed for this snake to feel secure when you work around it/with it?
All things to think about.