What the worst, yet funny, joke you've ever heard?

[MasonC2K]

Here's mine:

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realises that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"

[Beardedragon]

Im pretty sure mine wouldnt be fit for even the QT room!

[twistedtails]

Here's mine:

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realises that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"

Hahahahaha!

[twistedtails]

A man walked into a bar......and it hurt!

[mainbutter]

What's brown and sticky?





a stick.

[mainbutter]

Two cupcakes are being baked in an oven.

The first cupcake turns to the second and says "Jeez, it's hot in here!"

The second cupcake immediately points at the first and screams, "OH MY GOD, A TALKING CUPCAKE!"

[Kesslers Kreatures]

What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?


The both go around Uranus to whipe out the clingons



Why did the Jelly Roll?

Cuz he saw the Apple Turnover

[Freakie_frog]

So this Priest, a Rabi and a politician walk in to a bar..

Bartender looks at them and says...

what is this some kind of joke

[MarkS]

So the cold and flu season are upon us again, it's gotten so bad that the other day I heard two caskets talking to each other. One said to the other, 'was that you I heard coffin?'

[mainbutter]

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he has any grapes.

Needless to say, the bartender is rather surprised at this. Not only is there a talking duck, but he wants some grapes. Rather annoyed at how odd this is, he gruffly says "no grapes". The duck leaves.

The next day, the same duck walks in again and asks "do you have any grapes?".

Knowing he had answered the same question to the same darn duck the day before, the bartender responds "I told yeh yesterday, no grapes!" The duck leaves again.

The following day, the same duck walks in for a THIRD time, going up to the bartender and asking "do you have any grapes?"

Now this bartender has had enough of this duck goofing around asking people for grapes and just being too odd to deal with. "IF YOU COME IN HERE ASKING FOR GRAPES ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO NAIL YOUR DUCK FEET TO THE BAR!" yells the bartender. The duck quietly leaves, and the bartender wipes his forehead hoping that he won't see the duck again.

Much to his dismay, the duck does in fact come back the next day. Instead of the usual however, he asks "got any nails?"