Sellers, take care Kristy1277

[llovelace]

I have a hard time not giving people what they ask of me, because people's feelings about me are more important than things. I get taken advantage of, because of that.

Well, when you have been to the rodeo as many times as some of have, we no longer have this issue.

[Zoe]

if i had known how unhelpful and lacking in charity she is capable of being, i probably would have avoided dealing with her altogether, and that's why this post exists.

But you rather did know what she was like, didn't you? Based on what I read, you had dealt with her before and knew that she constantly asked for discounts on already low prices, asked for freebies. It's pretty clear that you knew that she wasn't the most generous, kind-hearted person out there, and yet you completed several transactions with her, no? If, before this egg fiasco, someone had asked you: "do you think she'd return your generosity if you asked her?" I don't think you would have said yes and believed it. It is unfortunate that this situation occurred with this particular girl, but I can't see why you're in the least bit surprised.

I also don't think you're at all justified in calling her out publicly. Yes, you stated facts and it is clear what occurred... but she did nothing wrong. The worst she did was nickel and dime you (your fault for accepting - can't blame her for trying), and then was not generous in giving you a snake (well, just an egg even) that is rightfully hers at this point.

I know it sucks, but regardless of this egg, your fire is still underground ... Before you knew this egg existed, you were not this furious with the buyer I'm sure. So just move on... she has done nothing wrong except be insensitive and ungenerous, and even if you did get the baby, you wouldn't get your fire back. What's done is done.

I hope you can move past this, for everyone's sake.

[aaramire]

I kind of agree with Pat, I am not really sure why everyone is coming down so hard on her. I know if I was in her shoes I'd be upset too. It's a sad day when we have to say that kindness and generosity shouldn't be expected from people.

[Zoe]

I kind of agree with Pat, I am not really sure why everyone is coming down so hard on her. I know if I was in her shoes I'd be upset too. It's a sad day when we have to say that kindness and generosity shouldn't be expected from people.

I don't think anyone is saying she is wrong for being upset. I would be extremely upset if I missed out on the opportunity to hatch a baby produced by a snake that I loved and lost. I would also be saddened if someone I had been kind and generous to in the past had this potential snake in their possession and refused to give it to me, even if I offered them fair trade or sale value.

But I would not under any circumstances post a thread about it, warning other sellers about the person in question, in the Business Inquiries section. I might post in a general discussion forum if I wanted to talk through my frustration and sadness with other snake lovers. I have been similar situations (not identical of course), and I hope I had the wherewithal to recognize my own responsibility and not try to blame others.

And lets face it, it's not like Kristy was someone she thought was a dear friend. Morphie was well aware of her penny pinching and bartering ways. While she has every right to be upset at the situation, she does not have the right to blame anyone else. Kristy has apparently not acted in a kind, generous way... but she hasn't done a thing wrong.

You can and should expect kindness and generosity from others... but you can't rely on it. You can't invest your emotions. You're just setting yourself up for disappointment if you do. There's a reason that sentimental value has no real value of its own right... for all we know, this is Kristy's first egg and the baby would mean just as much to her as it would to Morphie.

Again, I'm not saying that this isn't a sad, upsetting situation. But I think everyone needs to move on.

[frankykeno]

I kind of agree with Pat, I am not really sure why everyone is coming down so hard on her. I know if I was in her shoes I'd be upset too. It's a sad day when we have to say that kindness and generosity shouldn't be expected from people.

Alli, where is it written that having an opinion, especially a dissenting opinion, is "coming down on someone"? I could see if anyone was being rude, demeaning or foul tempered with Morphie but I'm sorry I'm just not seeing that.

Kindness and generosity are wonderful things. No one has said different as far as I see. What I'm getting from all these posts is that emotional responses have little place in business transactions and the more emotionally driven things get the less likely that trades or sales go all that well.

[dsirkle]

This is an idealized theory. Fact of the matter is that altruism comes from a subconscious expectation of reciprocation. It evolved because people who stick together are generally more successful at life than people who betray each other. When you are nice to someone, you are saying "i accept you into my social circle, and I will offer you the benefits of friendship." Whether or not you care to admit it, this is an investment. "If I am nice to people, then they will be nice to me".

Otherwise, everyone would just eat everyone else's babies.

Seriously though when someone breaks the cycle, everyone who has invested in them in the past feels slighted, and are less likely to extend the hand of friendship again in the future (documented studies show this also occurs in squirrel communities).

You may not expect something right then, but you do expect your kindness to be remembered, and it is offensive when it is not.

This certainly has nothing in common with what motivates me. To assume that all people share your values is a mistake.

[Morphie]

This certainly has nothing in common with what motivates me. To assume that all people share your values is a mistake.

Not to get in arguments about the nature of the universe or anything, but it's well-documented that the reason social groups exist - the reason organisms work together - is that they evolved that way due to groups of cooperates succeeding more regularly than opportunistic individuals. What I'm saying is that, like it or not, your ability to be kind to others stems from a more primal place, which has taught your species that the way to survive is to participate in mutually beneficial relationships. It is so far removed, now, that acts of pure altruism can, and do, take place, but the place they came from still is there, and it would become important again if we all, for some reason, started breaking those inherited rules of engagement (think apocalypse and sudden water shortage).

Whatever the case, I strongly doubt that you would not feel hurt or betrayed if someone you had offered kindness to did not seem to even remember it when the shoe was on the other foot. Sure, that's not your intent when you do the nice thing in the first place, but that doesn't ease the sting of having your generosity so easily forgotten. It makes you feel violated, unless you've somehow desensitized yourself, or otherwise become jaded.

[waltah!]

I kind of agree with Pat, I am not really sure why everyone is coming down so hard on her. I know if I was in her shoes I'd be upset too. It's a sad day when we have to say that kindness and generosity shouldn't be expected from people.

I think people are just trying to get a point across, and I don't see them "coming down on her". I don't honestly think this thread should have even been posted in the public forum with this thread title. Keep in mind that when anyone looks up info on the buyer in this case they will come across this thread. The title has the same effect as a "bad guy" post, and many people don't read those....they just see the "bad guy" part and move on. The buyer did nothing wrong as far as I can see. The animal was sold. Once the sale took place, it was no longer her animal and she had no further rights to it. If the the seller makes a mistake it's not the buyer's responsibility to make it right in the seller's eyes. The complaints about the buyer asking for discounts loses merit as soon as you agree to sell at those discounted prices.
It's sad that you lost your fire, but the buyer had nothing to do with it.

[matt71915]

Keep in mind that when anyone looks up info on the buyer in this case they will come across this thread. The title has the same effect as a "bad guy" post, and many people don't read those....they just see the "bad guy" part and move on.

Personally I like to read the bad guy ones because i want to see what they did wrong. Maybe im just nosey...

Morphie... i think its time to throw in the towel, this isnt getting anywhere. This thread has become a mess with this and that, right and wrong....

[wilomn]

I think people are just trying to get a point across, and I don't see them "coming down on her". I don't honestly think this thread should have even been posted in the public forum with this thread title. Keep in mind that when anyone looks up info on the buyer in this case they will come across this thread. The title has the same effect as a "bad guy" post, and many people don't read those....they just see the "bad guy" part and move on. The buyer did nothing wrong as far as I can see. The animal was sold. Once the sale took place, it was no longer her animal and she had no further rights to it. If the the seller makes a mistake it's not the buyer's responsibility to make it right in the seller's eyes. The complaints about the buyer asking for discounts loses merit as soon as you agree to sell at those discounted prices.
It's sad that you lost your fire, but the buyer had nothing to do with it.

And yet, having as yet heard only one side, from someone who as a rule is not given to wild flights of fancy, not prone to exaggeration, not in any way an attention seeker, perhaps a little out in left field but still well within the park, I am inclined to agree with her wanting to get this info out there.

I would not want to deal with this buyer purely based on what I have heard from what I consider to be a generally level headed individual. Her method and even wording could have been better thought out. She is aware of this and I think agrees with it.

So she got a bit emotional. It happens. She has not made excuses that were stupid or patently false. She has not tried to shift the blame for anything to anyone.

I can't see vilifying her having any positive to it at all.

It wasn't the smoothest way to get the message out there. I doubt she'll be a repeat offender.

Where are all of you who were so quick to praise the boy who lied? Here we a girl who did no actual wrong, unless making an emotional post or two is wrong (and who but me has never done that) yet she is getting less support than a guy who burned a lot of you personally.

It's fascinating.