I know the feeling. I had bought an arab mare at an auction years ago that was known for kill buyers, and she was a great horse. We were going to be moving and I needed a car. I posted a few ads, and my mare really picked the person she wanted to go to.
I know she went to a great home, and I only lasted a little over a year before buying another horse at an auction. I did work at a stable and did lease a mare before that though.

I know its hard, but you will keep a foot in w/ lessons.
Carol