Well we haven't done one of these in awhile and they are always funny (and terribly true). Jump in with your own stuff.

How You Know You Are A Real Herper!

- someone asks what that is in your hair, you mumble "probably a urate" and then wonder why no one thinks that's funny

- the last 5 times you discussed sex with your husband it was in reference to your breeding size snakes

- you stop eating tootsie rolls because they remind you too much of snake poop

- you feel an ungodly urge to chase down that lady with the snakeskin purse and show her pictures of your new hatchlings

- you have more pictures of your herps than your kids (or every picture of a kid includes them holding something with scales)

- you can actually work the word "cloaca" into polite conversation

- you call a herping friend while at work then wonder why your co-workers are gossiping about you (maybe it's because they keep hearing you say you like her rack and has she seen Tim's new balls)

- when you get bit, instead of running for a band-aid, you run for the camera so the people at BPNet won't bug you for bite pics

- against all natural instinct you hope you do get bit just so you can post some bite pics

- you take down your Brittany Spears poster and put up one of Kara from N.E.R.D.

- you wear your 8BallPython t-shirt to WalMart just to see the reaction of the elderly greeter lady when she reads "Isn't it about time you got some balls" emblazoned across your back

- who cares how many bathrooms the new house has! does it have a decent space for a bigger snake room!