To the OP.
Glad to see you are concerned with the welfare of your feeders.
I am a graduate of the "FrankyKeno School of Rodent Breeding and Feeding", and feel that for those of us that feed live, respecting the feeder prey is critical.
I raise all my own prey. My breeders are my pets, and like Franky I retire my females and/or rehome them.
I feed live to my pythons, and I also CO2 rats for my colubrids.
Feeding rats IS part of having a snake. But I will not say the "feed it and get over it thing"... I do not buy that. I think it does take time to really grasp it and to comfortable with it.
It takes a bit of confidence and a concept of the bigger picture. If you feed awkwardly or are not efficient, it does not allow your snake a clean strike or an efficient kill. Which just makes it worse... I had been there, and those experiences are the ones that help you learn.
Especially if you want to provide a quick death for the rodent.
Glad you have a supportive partner.
I can tell from your excitement over his initial feed that perhaps a bit of your hesitation is lifting?
My first BP did not eat for 4 months... I tried everything... I even debrained a mouse. Think feeding live is hard... debraining a mouse is something I NEVER want to do again. I offered him live and BAM!... I never looked back. I was amazed to watch it and see just how efficient he was.
Far more efficient than all the tricks I was using that were only serving to stress him out, rather than giving him what he needed... a meal.
Bruce
PS: I think sometimes we forget that stigma is attached not only to snakes, but to snake owners. And that cultural myths/mores prevail regarding what is humane and inhumane. It is easy for people to say "that is cruel!" and if we hear it enough in our lives, we have that disconnect from what is the reality of a snake's live... and that they truly are (as are all animals) a perfect form of evolution.