To play off of Sarah's post!

Basic Rules of Driving in Metro Atlanta

1.A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting construction barrels.

2.Turn signals are just clues as to your next move in road battle so never use them.

3.Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, no matter how fast you're going. If you do, the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

4.Large SUV drivers think they're immortal (especially if they have 4WD); don't succumb to the temptation to test this theory.

5.The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

6.Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work. (Remember no-fault insurance, he might not have much to lose, you do.)

7.Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to insure that your ABS kicks in giving a nice relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates.

8.Construction signs tell you about road closures immediately after you pass the exit before the traffic begins to back up.

9.The new electronic traffic warning system signs are not there to provide useful information, they're there just to make Atlanta look high-tech.

10.Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.

11.Speed limits (84.1 mph average on the Perimeter) are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.

12.Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that an Atlanta driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

13.Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in Atlanta.

14.Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even a person changing a tire. It might be more interesting than the articles in last week's National Enquirer.

15.Throwing litter on the roads adds variety to the landscape, keeps the existing litter from getting lonely and gives Adopt-a-Mile highway crews something to clean up.

16.Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours (especially pickup truck
drivers with stickers of Calvin peeing on a Ford, Dodge or Chevy logo).

17.Learn to swerve abruptly. Atlanta is the home of high-speed slalom driving
thanks to GDOT, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers'
reflexes and keep them on their toes.

18.It is traditional in Atlanta to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.

19.When the light turns green, put the pedal to the metal; gas is cheap in Atlanta, pollution is a myth and this is a drag race isn't it?

20.Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.

21.Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.

22.If you smoke, never, ever, use your ash tray to dispose of your cigarette butts. Instead, flick them out of your window while they're still lit. This contributes to the landscape along Georgia's highways, and motorcyclists love it when a lit cigarette butt hits them in the face.

23.Remember that the goal of every Atlanta driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary. AND DON'T FORGET! YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY
AT HOME IF IT'S RAINING OR SNOWING!