well my son is grounded for a week and usually if they make a "real" effort i'm willing to let them off early but not this time. this is a constant battle and so "real" change is needed as well as "real" effort!

i've decided to make a list... of daily and weekly chores and they can mark them off. they can do them anytime, but they must be done before they go to play with their friends... so their choice. AND if they aren't done before bed... they have to stay up to do them! i'll go in and wake them up if needed for now on.

we don't give rewards or allowance for chores because then they just do them when they want money... besides, our home is like a community, everyone has to pitch in no matter what. i don't get paid for doing the dishes so why should he? (barbara colloruso stuff here)

i never had problems with my older daughter... she's 19 now and living on her own. she knew when chores needed to be done by and just did them... simple. but my son... he's such a challenge.

thanks for all the comments and suggestions everyone... you really helped me lots!