So, tonight it finally hit me: I'm getting a divorce. In fact, I already am divorced. We two are now one.

It was going downhill for a long time. And it wasn't really anybody's fault. But I still feel like such a failure... like if I had worked harder it would have worked out.

I just hurt so badly right now... it's like everything in my body hurts and I can't make it stop. We were going to try to be friends. But that's not doing so hot either. He only wants to be my friend when it's convenient for him... and then he wants everything the same way it was. But I can't do that.

I'm sorry this is so disjointed. I tried calling him because I'm feeling really lonely and he won't answer and texted me saying he's out with the people from work. And when I ask him to call me after he's done because I'm feeling lonely he comes back with: "Whatever." What kinda friend treats another friend like that?

I know I should just tell him to get lost, but it's soooo hard. And I'm just sitting crying because I know what I should do and I don't know if I can.

I'm so sorry to be letting this all out here, but my roommate is asleep, and I'm sure my parents are, and I just needed to let it out.