Got this in an email from my sister, thought I would share:

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a
fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a
rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"
and storms out of the house.

After some time, he realizes he was nasty
and decides to make amends and rings her up. She
comes to the phone after many rings, and the
irritated husband says, "What took you so long to
answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"


*****

A man has six children and is very proud of
his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts
calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her
objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man
decides that it's time to go home and wants to find
out if his wife is ready to leave as well.

He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we
go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're
ready, Father of Four."

*****

A man and his wife were having some problems
at home and were giving each other the silent
treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next
day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am
for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 am" He left it where he
knew she would find it.

The next morning the man woke up, only to
discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his
flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his
wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM.
Wake up."


* Men are not equipped for these kinds of
contests.