Myth for me too.
My spider is the least defensive snake I have and the only time I almost got bit was one time he completely missed his rat on the tongs and ended up near my hand instead. No contact but a bit of a close call; I now use longer tongs, lol.
He accepts boops and gentle head rubs with virtually 0 reaction as long as there are no sudden/jerky movements. He did wobble slightly when he only ate live at the start, but he doesn't really wobble where his head shakes anytime else. Instead he just doesn't differentiate up from down while being held and moves completely upside down for half of it when circling an arm or something, but that's only when he's off of a solid flat surface. In his cage or on the floor he moves perfectly normally.
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