I recently had gotten a baby Nile monitor as a rescue. As soon as I got her she was gone. It had been two of the best days of my life and now they're gone forever. I've wanted a monitor for over 2 years and getting her was pretty much the only good thing in my life and now shes gone. Forever gone. I feel like a failure and it seems like everyone is looking at me like i'm a failure. What do I do? I've gone so far into this hobby that it feels like I need to leave the hobby. I've based my whole life on this and my future, but it all feels like a waste. Maybe I need to go out and see more nature. Or I just need to get the baby lizard out of my freezer so I don't get depressed every time I go to get my hot pockets. Should I get another animal? My mom said she'd get me a new one as she knows how hard this is for me, but every time I think of a new lizard all I think of are little worms moving around in its stomach killing it within the first couple of days I have it. I wish I had never gotten her. It hurts so much writing this and I wish there was something I could do.