I would also say that handling time should be as calm, quiet, and undemanding of your baby as possible. If being picked up is scary, being set back down may also be scary. Once you pick her up, let her just sit quietly in the palm of your hand for awhile; don't try to uncoil her or make her move, don't walk around or make any sudden movements yourself, etc. If she doesn't relax, or if she gives up on scaring you off and hides her head, just let her sit there and hide. After awhile, set your hand down in her enclosure and let her make her own way off if she's so inclined; if she's still too scared to even move by the time your arm is falling asleep, then set her down and leave her alone. It's probably best to do this alone (maybe after your daughter has gone to bed) until she starts showing a little interest in poking her head out to explore a little, and then let your daughter participate once the snake has started to get the idea that you aren't going to eat her. But let her figure that out in her own time.