Well nothing spoils two days in a row like dealing with one of my ball pythons, an extra orange female baby known as Julius. (or Julia, since we just recently discovered she's a girl) I've taken to nicknaming her Princess Skidmark, a title she has earned quite easily. The nickname is a reference to a joke from Two and a Half Men when Berta refers to Jake as 'Prince Skidmark', a reference to the brown streaks in his underwear. If you still don't get it, its the result you get when you fart only to discover it was, in fact, a shart. Now I want you take this information in and make a good guess as to why I've come to call my hatchling ball python this...
It was this ball python, my second one, that taught me how nasty ball pythons can be. I have never heard my first, bigger ball python flatulate, yet it was little Julia that woke me up at 3 in the morning with such a loud, wet sound. I go to see what's up, and by peering in the cage, discover a snake's tail lifted in the air, cloaca exposed and a trail of excrement leading from it, and have never seen a snake with such a smug face. Fast forward 2 weeks, now between yesterday and today. Earlier yesterday, I was enjoying a nice match of Halo on the good ole' XBox 360 with a little Julia relaxing halfway on the gaming controller and on my lap. The reality of the situation was that she was a ticking time bomb. Just as I was getting more sucked into the virtual reality, I am suddenly sucked back to Earth by the immediate wet sensation on my shirt, and look down as both gas and excrement escape the vent of my little ball python. All I could do was watch in disgust and contemplate how in the world am I going to get up and not drip this @$#! all over my mom's leather couch. In the meantime, Julia seems quite content in the crime she's committed. I eventually manage to change my clothes without being noticed or spreading mess.
Jump into the future a little over 12 hours. Here I am laying on my bed, browsing the wonderful content of this and other great herp sites way past midnight, several minutes before this post in fact. I decide that the little ball python must be clear now that she has relieved herself earlier. After all, the older, much cleaner ball python usually goes weeks before relieving herself. Unfortunately, Julia has proven me wrong once more. I had taken her out so she can go for a slither while I learn about some great herp stories. It was but in the middle of a sentence, had a familiar sensation returned to me. I look down to see the ball python straining even more crap out of herself for the second time within 24 hours, and lays her load all over my shirt yet again, as well as the bed sheets. Lovely.
The moral of the story is that I've decided that I'll be waiting for my cleaner ball python to finish shedding before I hold any more snakes for a long while. (And in case you didn't know, these are the only two snakes I have...)


And now a picture of Julia in all her turd-filled glory.