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I'm going to smoke, and I'd like to see some answers upon my return!
I want to quit smoking. Sort of.
I've been smoking since I was 18 (I would have started sooner but I didn't want to do anything illegal. Seriously). Over the years I've quit several times. The first time was when I found out I was pregnant (13 years ago) and I went cold turkey. I didn't start again until my daughter was about a month old. In that case, I did it for her and I never looked at it as quitting. For 7.5 months, I was looking forward to being able to smoke again. That failure was purely psychological, I know.
Over the past five or six years, I've "quit" about once or twice a year. Sometimes I've made it a few days, usually a few weeks, once three months. The longest I've quit was with Chantix, and that's the only time I've tried something other than gum and suckers, which are not good substitutes for cigarettes until they start making them in Camel flavor 
Chantix helped A LOT, but it also made me bat-crap crazy! I had these terrible nightmares, where ungodly things were happening to me and I'd wake up in a panic, terrified. I hated life. I hated EVERYONE. I was a horrible person, I'm not gonna lie! And it gave me these horrific stomach aches that felt like I'd swallowed gasoline with a Kentucky Gentleman chaser! It was bad news.
I think the problem for me is that I truly enjoy smoking. I know it stinks and it's expensive and it makes me look old and it's just bad, bad stuff. Nevertheless, I enjoy it.
So, has anyone had any luck with something other than Chantix? The patches, the nicotine gums?
I know the desire has to be there, and I do have some of that. But I need extra help. I have zero will power and I'm so damn rotten when I'm in a quitting cycle, I'm surprised I haven't had the crap kicked out of me.
Suggestions?
Adversity does not build character, it reveals it
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