Need some opinions on a dead beat...

[Skittles1101]

So, I usually don't air my dirty laundry out for everyone to see, but I need some unbiased opinions on what to do with my ex husband...

So, long story short, I got out of a mentally abusive (and semi physically close the end end of it...) marriage with my ex husband. We separated August of 2009, and finally the divorce was final April of 2011. He contested it, just to be a....jerk. He was ordered by the court to pay a measly $50/week for child support, which I had lowered from what the state wanted him to pay (starting about the end of 2009...). I haven't received anything. Occasionally, I'll receive $20 here and there, but other than that...nothing!

Now, despite all the verbal and mental abuse I went through during and after our separation, I still remained civil for my son's sake. I always figured, if he wasn't going to see his dad it will be HIS choice, not mine. My ex isn't dangerous to him, so I've allowed him to take extended vacations to Michigan where he lives (I live in Massachusetts). He even had him for the ENTIRE summer (he's 5 years old...).

Now, my mother just informed me that he called, to speak to my son while I am working. He apparently went off on a tangent because my mom called him out on his lack of payments to support his son. These past two weeks (ending tomorrow) I will have worked my regular 80 hours, PLUS 50 hours of overtime, JUST so I can live on my own, support my son on my own (I've lived on my own since we separated), AND have a decent Christmas for him. I have zero time for school because I can't turn down overtime, so I get to put my dreams on hold until I am in a better situation financially. Now, HE goes to school full time. HE doesn't work. HE lives at home with his (dead beat) dad. HE takes child support as a joke.

I just HATE his sense of entitlement. It makes me SO angry that he gets to fulfill his dreams and go to school and I'm stuck working crazy hours in a high-stress job missing out on watching my son grow up, and not only does he get to NOT pay child support, but he also gets him for his visitations! How is this fair? My son is scheduled to go his dad's in Michigan for Christmas break, from the 19th to Jan 4th, and after the convo he had with my mom, everyone is telling me not to let him go. These visitations are not required by the court, it' in the paperwork that we worked out "our own" schedule for visitation, so I wouldn't be breaking the law...but part of me wants to tell him where to go and that he can't have my son for Christmas when I work my butt off in order to give him a good life!

I'm sorry for the novel, I guess it's hard to get all the info out without rambling, and I am pretty emotional right now. My mom and my boyfriend both told me not to let Jacob go for the holidays. I honestly think I deserve to have Jacob for the holidays over him, but I've never wanted to put my son in the middle of it. I don't want to take that away from my son, and I never wanted my ex to be able to use it as ammo against me. Opinions? I just don't know what to do...