Spread the Stupidity

[stratus_020202]

I bet you thought this was another pet store post. Not!

I received this in an e-mail, and thought it funny. Would like to share a few smiles on a hot summer afternoon. Some are old, but funny nonetheless. Enjoy!

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
diet coke.

Only in America do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to
the counters.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway
and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages
of eight.

Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


Ever wonder why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery?'

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice?'

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid
made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
stupidity, if you'd like, and send this to someone you want to bring a smile
to; maybe even a chuckle. In other words, send it to everyone. We all need to
smile every once in a while.