I have been taking a break from the forum. I am struggling with some decisions that I made when I was in my early 20's. I am now almost 38 years old and those decisions still haunt me. I would really love to be able to share what I did but I have to admit that I am afraid of severe judgement and harsh words from others. Let's just say that those decisions are turning into a life changing experience for me. I am leaning not on my own understanding but rather on that of a different plane here. I don't want to push the religious aspect of this but I do believe in God and I feel that without this I would be rather lost. Maybe in time I will be able to share with all of you what it is exactly I am struggling with. I am seeking counseling for this also because I really need someone to reach out and talk to. There have been feelings of great shame and despair. I am currently going through the phase of being angry at myself. I have questioned my own judgement and thought process. I just do not know what I was thinking at the foolish ages of 21 and 23. I hope to be able to forgive myself and find some sort of healing. It really is hard for me to sit here and type this even though I am not exactly spilling my guts. For anyone that reads this, I hope that you are at a point in your life where you have forgiven yourself and have found the courage to move on from whatever it is that may have been holding you back. Thank you for taking the time to read this.