Confessions of a Pet-A-holic

[Gooseman]

Well, I'm going to start this off by saying hello to some of my old BP.net buddies who may have given me up for gone long ago, and to those who've forgotten. That being said I have a tale to tell of the responsibility of owning pets, and realizing when one has gone too far out of their means to be a loving parent to more than one's capable of. I also hope this is the right forum, maybe it should be in general pets instead. But I'll leave that to the mods.

As some of you may remember I came here almost 3 years ago for help on a brand new baby BP that was purchased from petco. For almost a year I was content with that single snake, despite the wide range of morphs available, let alone other species that peaked my interest. That being said, it was easy then, as I was in the Corps at Texas A&M, and even having a single snake was against the rules. Now I understand there may be quite a few members on this forum keeping snakes in their dorms where they arn't allowed and I completely sympathize with you all, as with a little tweaking, one snake is easily concealable while still maintaining above average care. However, after a fair bit of time my interest grew to a level where I desired to spread my bounds and acquire a beautiful little black blood from Jeff Hartwig. As my previous threads speak for themselves, things didn't go very well. Ultimately before long, and for unexplainable reasons the snake didn't survive. I am as sure as one can be that my level of care was more than adequate for a young snake to healthily grow and succeed. But that's not what happened.

By the end of that semester of school, I had fallen very ill myself as was removed from the corps, and this new found freedom and space lead me to try expanding again and acquire a coastal carpet from Mike (MPenn here) and a little pastel bp from a vendor at a local show. The night before the show, I had the opportunity to take in a rogue pitbull, affectionatly known as "Baby" to those who follow my threads, from the side of the highway. So by the end of the weekend my pet collection had grown from a single BP, to two BPs, a coastal carpet and a pitbull, inside my small apartment. There was alot to work out to make that happen, but it did in spades. It was almost too easy taking them in and providing them healthy living conditions, and with regular exercise for the pit, for them to thrive. All was good.

Not long later I had taken a job at petco with the free time I enjoyed from no longer being in the corps, and was given a decent discount on supplies with employment, but what would soon be my demise, regular interaction with animals that needed loving homes. However, life was grand.

About a month later, I got the bug again. Time to expand. Within two weeks I had acquired both a butter and spider ball python, with the intention of breeding them in enough time. Once again, a little shifting of funds and some manipulation of my apartment environment later, taking care of these new additions fell in line with the rest of my collection, to where their presence was nearly negligible. It still seemed all too easy and was wondering how others could complain about maintaining a small collection.

During the next 3 months I expanded my reptile collection to the point that their maintanence went from "auto-pilot" to "need-to-do" with the addition of a bearded dragon, two adult normal bp's, a milk snake I found in my apartment and was actively shopping for a red ackie. All seemed easy enough to manage, though I have to admit more and more of my funds were being directed away from my personal life expenses and into maintaining my collection. However I regretted none of it. I would log into here on a regular basis, get to chat with a wide range of people about the animals I had in my care and the things I'd learned from them. But the danger was this, subconsciously something changed. It went from me enjoying my single normal with the love and attention of a family member, to a near arms-race with others as to a "look what I have", and "I have this, arn't I a bad-A reptile guy?" These animals were my life, this website was my life, and if I wasn't in class, with my animals, or on this site, I was sharing everything I knew with anyone who'd listen. I loved it, though my passion was beginning to stretch my financial means, but in my eyes, all was good.

Then something happened which kicked my gotta-have-them-all mood into overdrive. I had done my job at petco so well, so many people (both coworkers and customers) viewed me as a key source of information and work habit that I got promoted to asst. manager at petco, with a relatively significant pay increase. This newfound money only meant one thing at the time, I can safely afford more animals and provide above their necessary standards, even have money for the eventual vet trips. With this frame of mind I took in several more adoptions over about 2 months. This included 2 ferrets, 4 rats, a hedgehog and a small reef tank. By this time I was able to move into a house with some buddies whom amongst them had another hedgehog, an 80 gallon salt tank, a border collie and a greater swiss mountain dog. The sheer amount of animals in this house was overwhelming. It was absurd. It was nuts. But I loved it.

Looking back, I believe it took about 8 months for the reality of the situation I, a poor college student, living paycheck from paycheck purely because of the needs of my animals had gotten my into. The sheer work volume for petco, school and my animals had taken it's toll and relegated me to only random visits to this site and my friends. I had trapped myself because I did not have it in me to let any of my beloved pets go. Though to be honest, there was only two whom I cared about on a personal level instead of "because I spent X amount on you", or "you're an interesting addition to my collection". I felt remorse for how little I actually cared about most of the animals I've accumulated, and felt I only had one relatively responsible solution to the problem, and that was to be the person I hated the most. The guy who was giving up on animals because it wasn't in their interests to keep them. It took me 2 months from then to actually break down and find a suitable home for a portion of my collection. Despite my intensive background check upon each person I gave a piece of my collection to (which is sadly the way I viewed it), most of whom being regular customers of mine I was confident with, it was a double edged sword with each adoption. The jealousy of losing the prized collectible, but the peace of mind that came with them no longer being in my possession. It made me sick that that was my God honest true feelings, but with that being the case, I knew I didn't deserve them anyways. Not that I ever treated my animals with anything less than dedication, but the loss of their place as pets in my mind to the position of trophy that without the utmost maintanence would tarnish, was all the conviction I needed that I was doing the right thing.

Then something devastating happened. I had thinned my collection down from 6 bp's, coastal carpet, boa, hedgehog, ackie, bearded dragon, pit bull, reef tank, milk snake, 2 ferrets, 4 rats, and 6 mice; to a measly 3 bp's, pit bull, and my salt tank. But then, my most loved BP, my original normal, had to be put down because of someone messing with his t-stat and cooked him. I paused with my shrinking collection for a bit, but before long I was ready to get rid of the rest of my snake collection, because Snape was gone. I couldn't handle the idea that the rock to my collection, the one with no perceived value except emotional attachment was gone, leaving me with high dollar animals that I viewed as my breeding experiment for "pretty babies". I gave away my remaining two BPs, a butter and spider, to a friend of mine and called it a day. My once mighty herp collection was completely gone from my hands.

Now, most of the thinning of the herd that occurred was a combination of two things, 1) being my realization that I had overstepped my abilities, 2) being that I moved back home with my parents after college and they just wouldn't have it. But moving back home forced me to give up the only other animal I truly loved out of my zoo. The pit bull. I have a beagle back home, and my mom a Maltese. If you need explanation as to why I couldn't keep her, just read some of my previous threads, they shouldn't be hard to find. I did manage to place her with my ex-gf who had worked with her alot and all was good, ultimately she found Baby a more permanent home. But all that aside, my entire collection is gone.

I hate saying this, because they're living creatures who deserve only the best from those who care for them, but collecting animals was a dangerous addiction of mine. I don't want to justify my purge on selfish terms, but there really was no other way in my mind. They had all the self-destructive tendencies to me that others have with tobacco, alcohol or illicit drugs.

But now, I'm starting fresh, with a hopefully more mature mindset, with this knowledge in hand. No longer am I going to repeat these mistakes of mine. But cannot turn my back any longer to a hobby I truly enjoy. I'm looking to adopt a baby normal in the near future and stop myself there. Hopefully relive the experience and love I had when I got my first bp several years ago, and not let it get diluted by "collection" mentality. I feel like an imbecile for posting this, nor do I want y'alls opinion of me to slip, BUT I logged back on tonight and felt like I needed to share my story so hopefully someone else doesn't make the same avoidable mistakes I made. Cherish what you have, don't let yourself turn this into an experiment. Don't allow yourself to make these mistakes. Because if you truly care for these animals, you'll regret it later.