Advice

[Jay_Bunny]

I know that this is probably not the place, but I really need some advice. My mother owes me $5000 and she doesn't think she should pay me back. The deal was, I gave her my Subaru Forester, I would get her jeep and pay the remaining $5000 on the jeep. She would then pay me back the $5000 when she got her tax return in. A year passed and she said "I just can't pay you all $5000 at once." so I told her to pay me in small amounts if need be as long as she paid me back. Now another year has almost passed and she still hasn't paid me a dime.

I did have a car accident and I was going to pay for the parts to have it fixed. A week after the accident, my sister took my car for a joy ride and smashed up the front and back end. My mother paid for the parts on the agreement that my sister would work to pay for the parts. I didn't have to pay anything and in a way, my mother was paying for the damage done to my car because of my sister. I told my mother I would pay for any damage that occured during my accident. The only damage that wasn't made worse because of my sister was a single light. The rest was damaged further by my sister so she is responsible for it. That was this summer, and my sister has yet to pay my mother.

So, then my radiator blows and I have to get a new one. I didn't have the money at the time so my mother said she'd pay for it on the agreement I'd pay her back (why pay her back when she owes me $5000?) but I agreed but we never set a date I had to have it back to her by. Now she's hounding me telling me either pay her back or never ask her for help again (might I mention a few years ago I lent her $800 to pay her bills because she had no money and when she said she'd pay me back, I told her not to worry about it. A few months later, I wanted to adopt a kitten and I didn't have the $100 on my at the time and my mom said she'd do it. She did and a week later was demanding I pay her back the $100. Rah!)

Unfortunatly I didn't get anything in writing, but there might be a way I could prove that I took money out of my account (over $6000 in total) and deposit it in my mother's account. I told her to just pay me back $5000 since the value of the subaru was only about $1200. I reminded her today that she owes me the money and she told me "I really don't think I owe you anything." I know she's my mother and she definitely spent more than $5000 raising me, but that is the responsibility of a mother. You HAVE to do that. I didn't have to help her pay off that jeep, but I did, and now she's trying to get out of paying me back. All this time she is saying that she doesn't have the money to pay me back, but she goes out and spends $50 at a time on alcohol and is going on ski trips with my brother and sister and going out to bars to watch the game and shoot pool. And here I am struggling to pay my bills and having to move out of my apartment because I can't afford the rent. Yea, that $5000 would come in really handy right about now.

So what should I do? It gets really frustrating that every time I try and help someone it blows up in my face later and no one is thankful.

[grammie]

first, never ever do business with family without getting it in writing. ever!!!! second, if you have records and want to take her to small claims court, you'd probably have a good chance. Otherwise, you might want to chalk it up, but then there's the issue of what she says you owe her. If you could get it in writing that you are both free and clear, that's what I would do, even if you could use the money. And then I'd never loan a dollar I didn't expect back. If you ever give her money again, you better expect to give it as a gift. Sorry, I'm harsh and have had bad dealings with family and money. I never loan now, I give.

[ARamos8]

I think the best advice here is never do business with family . Pure avoidance is the best policy . Now, excuse me while I try to bargin my way with my son on some potty training here.

Seriously, I really hope it all works out in everyone's best interest . Family feuding really bites the big one.

[kc261]

Do you want to take your mother to court? If not, there is probably no way you will ever see that money. Even if you do, you might or might not win since you don't have it in writing.

I recommend never loaning money to your mother again. If you truly feel the need, get it in writing. Then, she probably still won't pay you back, but at least the next time she asks, you can wave the paper in her face when you say "not until you pay me back for the last time".

I'd also avoid borrowing from her. Just avoid the whole mess.