I didnt know where to put this... selfish or not? (Long Post)

[EL-Ziggy]

That is a very good attitude to have if you can spare the money here and there

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I support good causes because I like to do good things. It really does make me feel happier to be able to help others when I can. Even when we do work hard we don't always get we want. Nobody totally makes it on their own and we all need help sometimes. I'm not the wealthiest person but I am compassionate and giving by nature. If I can do anything to help my family, friends and even some strangers I'm happy to share what I can. So if my nieces call me for cash to buy concert tickets, or if my son wants more dinosaur toys, or a friend is trying to take his family on vacation, or some dude has a help me sign on the freeway exit ramp, it's all cool to me. For me it's also a matter of paying it forward. There were, and still are, some very kind people in my life who cared enough to help me when I had troubles and even when I was a troublemaker. They didn't condemn, judge, or discard me. They helped, encouraged, and motivated me. I'm a better person in large part because of them. They saw the best in me even when I didn't. If I can chip in a few coins for the greater good, or to give someone else a little more happiness in this world, count me in. I've even got $20 on that Banana Ball you're shooting for .

[AntTheDestroyer]

We all have received a handout in one form or another at some point in our lives. If people do not like what a go fund me campaign then they can simply not contribute. I have to say Ziggy you have a great attitude and the world would be a better place with more like you.

[Nellasaur]

Nobody totally makes it on their own and we all need help sometimes.

Heh, ain't that the truth? The world needs more folks like you, everyone would get a little farther if we could all pay it forward occasionally.

[Slim]

Electronic panhandling is still panhandling. Receiving a hand up is one thing. Handouts are a different matter all together, and asking for a hand out is actually a form of saying, "I deserve what you have more than you do."

[wolfy-hound]

I think the attitude that gofundme is supposed to be for needed things or emergencies like "My house burned down" is wrong. A ton of people use gofundme for all sorts of frivolous things.

A tip jar is totally different from making a gofundme asking for random people to donate money towards a new snake. And by making the gofundme, you are asking for money. But a tip jar is set up to offer extra funds for good service. In other words, your gofundme is rather like a tip jar in your coffee shop where you expect people to walk off the street to put money into the tip jar WITHOUT buying coffee or receiving any service. I don't know anyone who randomly walks into restaurants to put money into a tip jar for no reason.

The good points for your(hypothetical) gofundme is that you are being HONEST and saying "I'd like to buy this snake sooner rather than later, and if you'd like to help me out, I'd love you forever, thanks!" You're NOT setting up a gofundme and spinning some tale of woe "My parents kicked me out and I have no food or place to stay" or "My car broke down and I have no way to get to work" or whatever made-up scenario you feel would get you more donations. I do think that a lot of the donation sites are used in such a manner to collect money from good hearted people who have zero way to know it's a scam.

The bad points are that it does make you look like a "I deserve this so someone should buy it for me" instead of a responsible young adult who pays their own way. I'm not saying you ARE that way, or that you WOULD BE that way. I'm just saying how it can make you appear to outsiders. It's different when your friends help you out because they know you want a thing... that's friends offering unsolicited help. Friends do these things. It's different from a specific tip jar in a business, where customers would offer extra tip to help out a person who has given good service to them. It smacks of "I want a handout" which turns a lot of people off right away.

Myself, I rarely offer money up for "I want a new xbox" type requests. I am overly generous at times to businesses or people offering services I enjoy or even to people online who have a good blog/twitch/etc that I regularly enjoy. A good waiter/waitress gets a superb tip from me, because I feel like they'll probably get shafted by someone else and I want to give them at least a little boost as a reward for doing a good job. Same goes for other services. When a person is offering nothing at all, but wants money, I'm much less likely to offer them anything at all.

As a related subject, I'm more likely to donate money to kids doing a car wash or something than to kids standing outside a store with a bucket. Even if I don't GET the car wash... I'm more likely to just give those kids a donation because they are out there hustling and trying to EARN some more for the trip/etc instead of just sticking a hand out and asking for random strangers to fund them.

[AntTheDestroyer]

It is a little frustrating that so many people have such strong opinions about pan handlers and the homeless with out knowing very much about the population. My wife has worked with the homeless for the last six years and let me tell you what most of them has been through would crush most any person. Let's keep this about a kid who wants a snake.

[Soord]

Electronic panhandling is still panhandling. Receiving a hand up is one thing. Handouts are a different matter all together, and asking for a hand out is actually a form of saying, "I deserve what you have more than you do."

See I don't necessarily think that way. I feel like asking for money is just that, asking. You aren't saying "I deserve this", but rather "if you could/want to give that'd be awesome". Very few panhandlers I've come across feel like they "deserve" any money they get. The special few that do ruin it for everyone I guess

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[Slim]

It is a little frustrating that so many people have such strong opinions about pan handlers and the homeless with out knowing very much about the population. My wife has worked with the homeless for the last six years and let me tell you what most of them has been through would crush most any person.

I've traveled the world in defense of this country, and I've seen, hung out with, shared beer and bread with panhandlers and homeless in at least 40 different countries and in well over 30 cities in our own country. I've dealt with burnouts, lockouts, walkouts, mentally ill and far, far too many veterans of our military. In my own experience, about 30% of those living under the stars have little to no control over their situation due to mental illness of some variety, or because of a physical malady. That leaves the other 70%, who in my opinion, are just living out a form of learned helplessness. A condition that handouts and free meals tend to exacerbate.

Yes, my opinion is strong. If that strength frustrates you, I won't say I'm sorry, but I will feel sorry for you that you are so easily frustrated.

Let's keep this about a kid who wants a snake.

Ummm, the kid is the one who opened up the debate in the first place...

See I don't necessarily think that way. I feel like asking for money is just that, asking. You aren't saying "I deserve this", but rather "if you could/want to give that'd be awesome".

Of course you don't

[Soord]

I've traveled the world in defense of this country, and I've seen, hung out with, shared beer and bread with panhandlers and homeless in at least 40 different countries and in well over 30 cities in our own country. I've dealt with burnouts, lockouts, walkouts, mentally ill and far, far too many veterans of our military. In my own experience, about 30% of those living under the stars have little to no control over their situation due to mental illness of some variety, or because of a physical malady. That leaves the other 70%, who in my opinion, are just living out a form of learned helplessness. A condition that handouts and free meals tend to exacerbate.

Yes, my opinion is strong. If that strength frustrates you, I won't say I'm sorry, but I will feel sorry for you that you are so easily frustrated.




Ummm, the kid is the one who opened up the debate in the first place...




Of course you don't

Again, this is a lot more patronizing than I was looking for. To generalize everyone that doesn't have extreme mental or physical problems as learned helplessness is a bit naïve. The factors that go into one becoming homeless is very complex and to put 70% of all homeless people into the category of "learned helplessness" is pretty unfair.

What was meant by "let's keep it about a kid and a snake" was meant to not badmouth the homeless and to talk about the specific situation of crowdfunding a snake. Not about the homeless and not about the "kid that started the thread on the first place". Rather the hypothetical person getting a snake using crowdfunding.

I really don't need your pity and don't appreciate how arrogant this came off as. Sorry if you didn't mean it that way but it came off that way to me.

I agree that we should keep more comments to comments about the situation and not to badmouth people. The whole point of this thread was to explore the public thoughts and morality around the situation not to badmouth people less fortunate than us. -_-

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[Stewart_Reptiles]

No one is badmouthing people down on their luck and those who actually really need help, the only ones badmouthed here are the people who feel entitled those who want to use the system get a free ride by getting a snake with someone else money which is SHAMEFUL at the very least.....can't help if YOU take it personally, it was your question and no matter how you spin it, how you call it, whether it's active or not, it's just YOU trying to justify the idea of getting a free ride (and you have done that a lot for someone with a fictional scenario)

Bottom line it is still what it it getting a free ride, taking the easy way, and truly if you can't afford a $200 own your own and need other to pay for it than you should not have that snake to start with, let alone have it part of a breeding project.

If you want to do it and can live with it than by all mean do so, are you expecting to be praised too? Oh and that will look good in your BIO to if one day you have your own website