Overcoming self-loathing

[kdreptiles]

Has anyone experienced the feeling that you can't stand yourself, hating yourself so much that you don't even bother to live a healthy lifestyle or even practice proper hygiene because you don't feel worth the effort? That's where I'm at, and it comes and goes in waves. I would rather not get into details, but I just can't stand myself, even the way I talk or act irritates me. I lost weight a couple years ago - 60 pounds, and then gained it all back plus some, and I'm hating myself even more for that. BELIEVE me though, that is certainly not the only concern, I'd just like to keep things somewhat confidential.

Has anyone gone through a long-lasting period of loathing themselves? How did you go about climbing out of this rut and learn to tolerate yourself?

[Mike41793]

Try being awesome. Im awesome everyday and ive never self loathed.

[swansonbb]

Maybe not quite to that degree, but, yes. The last 2 years have been the hardest of my life. Having the ability to recognize that you're in trouble (you are) and do something about it are key. For the longest time I felt like deserved my pain and didn't want to feel better.

I never wanted to rely on medical intervention, but I've found that anti-depressants can help mellow out the lows and allow you to deal with your problems much more rationally. There is no shame in it!

Please get help.

[Fidget]

Ditto Swansonbb's comment. You don't have to feel this bad. I guarantee you don't deserve to, and there are ways to pull yourself far enough out of these feelings to start taking better care of yourself. During my rough times, therapy and meds were very helpful.

Once you start to feel a little bit better, your successes will snowball and it will be easier to continue on the right track. Please don't give up on yourself, and do get the help you need. Best of luck in the work ahead.

[OctagonGecko729]

Has anyone experienced the feeling that you can't stand yourself, hating yourself so much that you don't even bother to live a healthy lifestyle or even practice proper hygiene because you don't feel worth the effort? That's where I'm at, and it comes and goes in waves. I would rather not get into details, but I just can't stand myself, even the way I talk or act irritates me. I lost weight a couple years ago - 60 pounds, and then gained it all back plus some, and I'm hating myself even more for that. BELIEVE me though, that is certainly not the only concern, I'd just like to keep things somewhat confidential.

Has anyone gone through a long-lasting period of loathing themselves? How did you go about climbing out of this rut and learn to tolerate yourself?

I would recommend doing talk therapy long before even thinking about medication. Find a good therapist so you have a professional that you can work through this with. Hating yourself is not natural at all and usually stems from alot of abuse on the part of others. Again, a good therapist can go deep into your history and figure out what things in your past are contributing to your depression and hate for your "self". I am nowhere near qualified to help out on a professional level but if you want to break some of the confidential nature of these feelings, feel free to PM me anytime.

[angllady2]

Poor dear.

I know what you are going through. Maybe not exactly the same, but close enough I feel your pain. It stems from depression hon. And no, depression is not a dirty word. Depression is very real, and it can cause some very serious problems in your day to day life. Heck, sometimes it affects you from one hour to the next, or even minute to minute. I know, I live it every day. The best thing you can do for yourself is to seek professional help.

I know how that sounds, but seeing a counselor or even a psychiatrist does not make you crazy or even defective. It makes you smart. You are smart enough to admit you are in over your head, and you know you need someone to guide you through. It's scary yes, lord how it's scary taking that first huge step and reaching out. But I cannot begin to tell you how much better you will feel once you begin to understand what causes these feelings. And even more amazing, you don't have to feel that way. I cannot express what an unbelievable idea that is, that you don't have to feel the way you do. Now, the changes won't happen overnight, but they do happen. You will have periods of ups and downs, that's ok. Just stick with it and they become less and less of an issue.

It is your life hon, and you don't have to let these feelings rule you. You can make the choice to control them, and when you do it's a wonderful thing. I wish you all the best, and I mean that very sincerely. As someone who lives with fairly major depression myself, I want you to know you don't have to be in this alone.

Gale

[OsirisRa32]

Meds (short term) and talk therapy have worked for me...so has a close circle of good friends.

And when it comes to losing weight or getting in shape having a friend/work-out buddy is a lot better and more support then going it alone...its also shown to be more effective in general in the long run (having a work-out buddy that is).

[AmandaJ]

No one deserves to feel that miserable I was divorced years ago and went through a pretty rough time even though that breakup was theoretically "amicable". What worked for me was St. John's Wort (an herbal antidepressant) under the supervision of my lovely therapist. If the SJW hadn't proven effective, I was absolutely willing to move on to modern pharmaceuticals. From what I was told, sometimes medical assistance is really helpful to get us out of the "pit" (so to speak) so that talk-therapy or other help is effective.

Best of wishes to you -- it's awful to be that down.

[I-KandyReptiles]

Poor dear.

I know what you are going through. Maybe not exactly the same, but close enough I feel your pain. It stems from depression hon. And no, depression is not a dirty word. Depression is very real, and it can cause some very serious problems in your day to day life. Heck, sometimes it affects you from one hour to the next, or even minute to minute. I know, I live it every day. The best thing you can do for yourself is to seek professional help.

I know how that sounds, but seeing a counselor or even a psychiatrist does not make you crazy or even defective. It makes you smart. You are smart enough to admit you are in over your head, and you know you need someone to guide you through. It's scary yes, lord how it's scary taking that first huge step and reaching out. But I cannot begin to tell you how much better you will feel once you begin to understand what causes these feelings. And even more amazing, you don't have to feel that way. I cannot express what an unbelievable idea that is, that you don't have to feel the way you do. Now, the changes won't happen overnight, but they do happen. You will have periods of ups and downs, that's ok. Just stick with it and they become less and less of an issue.

It is your life hon, and you don't have to let these feelings rule you. You can make the choice to control them, and when you do it's a wonderful thing. I wish you all the best, and I mean that very sincerely. As someone who lives with fairly major depression myself, I want you to know you don't have to be in this alone.

Gale

This!! This!!
Gale puts it perfectly.
I've been depressed for many years, and have been in counciling since grade 4. I have my good days and my bad days.

[pigfat]

Being a police officer, I run into this quite often and I would highly suggest therapy or a counselor LOOOONG before medication. I deal with SO many people who are so addicted to anti-depressants. I can understand a need for them I guess, but I think there are better alternatives. Sometimes I hate how I act or things that I've done, but I know that I have someone who loves me dearly, and if you want to know what I'm talking about PM me, I'll be glad to share my thoughts with you. Prayers and thoughts sent your way my friend.