Weight Loss Blues

[Vasiliki]

I felt like I needed a place to vent about this, and for some reason feel somewhat insecure about posting it on my Facebook. Something about feeling vulnerable in front of people I try not to feel vulnerable about.

About three weeks ago I met up with a personal trainer to evaluate some fitness goals and work on some things. Truthfully, I used to work out in my basement with free weights about three years ago and got myself into the best shape I've ever been in. But, I also had a physical job, spare time and motivation (my ex left me because I 'got too fat for him to find attractive'). Fast forward to present day, and I'm now stuck at a desk job. I literally cannot leave my post, which is about a 6' x 6' area. I've moved to a new townhouse with my current boyfriend of 2 and half years, where we have no room for any type of workout equipment. Dumbells, yes, but no bench or even a barbell. So I decided to try going to the gym, and realized promptly that I have anxiety about it, to the point I couldn't even remember my routine/sets/how to use the equipment. I just freaked out.

So I hired a personal trainer, which I've been meeting up with twice a week for three weeks now. I've been pretty good with my eating habits lately, although it's hard some days when my other half wants to meet up with friends and go out to the pub, or restaurants, or meeting up with family for dinners, etc. But my other half is being very supportive, so that's reassuring.

But I'm definitely reaching that 'blues' point.

In my mind, I understand that muscle weighs more than fat, so while the numbers on the scale haven't changed, that doesn't mean my body composition hasn't changed. I understand it took me about a year to put on this 20lbs, so I know it's going to take more than a few weeks to get my body back into the routine. And I know my job where I literally sit for 8 hours a day is a serious disadvantage to my goals (I would need to do about 1.5hrs of cardio every day to make up for being immobile for much of the day).

I put on my pants this morning, hoping that my lack of weight lost would just be my muscle/fat ratio and that I would have actually lost at least a bit of size. But as I buttoned them up, I felt the same as I did at the beginning of my routine.

Definitely feeling disheartened right now. I'm 5'6" and about 155lbs, fairly muscle dense but it's hidden under 20lbs of fat. I used to be 135lbs, a size 6 and felt very comfortable in that range. So that's my goal to get to again. But the fact that nothing has visibly changed is leaving me a bit... frustrated. Mad. Disappointed. Upset.

As silly as it sounds, the main reason I want this weight loss is because my boyfriend keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged. I know that he is going to do something crazy romantic if he does (we often hike into the mountains and climb to the top, or do other crazy adventurous things that are so out of the ordinary). So part of me wants to feel as beautiful on the outside as he makes me feel on the inside. Sounds cliche`, but it's true. I don't hate the way I look, but I miss the way I used to feel when I was at my ideal weight. And I just want to get back there.

So this lack of results kind of hit me this morning, and I just needed to vent. Of course, it just drives me to try harder, but at the same time, I'm trying not to get frustrated.

My goal was to lose about 2lbs a week, give or take a bit while I'm focusing on my weight training (muscle vs. fat weight). But so far, nothing has changed, and I'm trying not to feel like I've failed before I've even really started.

Not sure exactly what I'm asking here. Maybe some feedback. Maybe some advice. Maybe someone else has been here before and might know exactly what I'm feeling. I'm definitely a fighter and I'm not about to give up, not when I know I've already done this before. But this time the results aren't where I expected them to be, and I kind of feel like: "Am I doing something wrong?"

[Fidget]

Hi Danielle,

Hang in there with your workouts. It's great that you're taking good care of yourself and trying to maintain a healthy, balanced lifestyle even if your job keeps you stuck in a chair a lot of the time. It's wonderful that you have a supportive partner, and I'm horrified by people like your ex who leave someone because of weight gain. Jeez, wait till he develops a spare tire in middle age! Anyway, you have a lot going for you. You'll get through this stuck patch, and when you do, you'll feel like the Amazon you are.

Here's my disclaimer: I'm not a nutritionist/personal trainer/exercise physiologist/etc. etc. etc...so please take all this with a grain of unprofessional salt.

The one thing that stood out for me in your post is that it doesn't mention if you're doing any cardio. You say "I would need to do about 1.5hrs of cardio every day to make up for being immobile for much of the day." That may be true, but of course it's not realistic in terms of how much time the average person can spend exercising . Why not try for 30-40 min of cardio 4-5 days a week and see what happens? I'll bet the pounds start coming off. Also, does your trainer know that you want to lose weight, not just get stronger & leaner? Because if s/he knows that and it's not happening, s/he should be able to offer suggestions or change your workouts to address that - after all, it's why they get paid the big bucks!

Best of luck to you, and don't get derailed because the scale isn't cooperating yet. There's so much more to being healthy and feeling attractive than reaching a specific weight goal. Congratulate yourself on what you're doing right, and keep doing it. I hope you start seeing the results you want!

- Karen

[I-KandyReptiles]

You could try getting an exercise ball to sit on instead of your desk chair. I helps tone your core.

A good weightless app is my fitness pal. It helped me lose 20 lbs in a month!

[youbeyouibei]

To the OP: I'd say try crossfit or something similar, with your space situation being what it is. It requires little or no weights (other than bodyweight), there are TONS of free exercise programs online to get you started and they range from the simple to the how-in-the-world-can-the-human-body-be-made-to-contort-like-that! complex, lol! I hear ya' on the having to man a post and not being able to leave. I work 12 hour shifts and try as I might to move and stay active, the majority of the time I just sit. Weight training in combination with cardio is great to keep your metabolism going after you've worked out but if you combine the two (a la crossfit routines), you're going to burn on average twice the amount of calories you would doing just weight training or cardio alone. I've struggled with my weight over the last two years as well and it's a hard thing to deal with. 29 years old, should be trim and in fighting form and instead, welllll...I'm not, lol! I'm glad you're doing it for YOU! and not someone else, as that never goes well if your motivation isn't coming from within. Nutrition (fewer calories taken in than what you expend; burn more than you eat) and exercise (weights, plyometric exercises, cardio, etc.) are the best way to achieve the results you're wanting, those being healthy and long-lasting ones, rather than popping a pill or doing something else that could potentially hurt you in the long run, even if it takes longer. Make it fun; if you can put Adele on or Heart or George Jones if that's who does it for you on the IPod to take your mind off the drudgery of working out, even better. Are there any gyms that offer martial arts or jiu jitsu in your area? I dunno...just some thoughts, not sure if they're worth a look or not. Keep the faith and stick to it; you'll get it! Good luck!

[Bellatrix_LeSnake]

One of the things that has worked really well for me is an eating cut-off time of 4pm. I eat a large, balanced breakfast - think an egg, some kidney beans, piece of fruit and maybe a piece of toast as well, followed by a moderate sized lunch at around 10-11 (sandwich or a soup/piece of bread or a muffin if I'm feeling bad) and another main, balanced meal at 3:30-4pm. After 4pm, I don't eat anything. I can have soda, tea, black coffee etc ... I allow myself one cheat day every week where I can go out to dinner and out for drinks with friends. I will make occasional exceptions to have 1 drink on an "on" day if it would be socially unacceptable not to. I like this because I'm not obsessively tracking calories all the time, but I find if I eat more or less normally and then STOP at 4pm, I end up eating around 1400-1600 calories per day. I don't feel at all deprived because I'll eat a muffin, a cookie, cake etc. as long as its before 4pm.

I exercise 5-6 days a week, but not intensely. I go on 5-7 mile walks on a few days and horse ride on the others. Otherwise, I'm a pretty sedentary person. I spend a lot of time at my computer working on my dissertation and I'm just not one of those naturally active and "fidgety" people. In the two weeks I've had her, I've already decided my BP and I are kindred spirits. We both love to lay under things (blanket for me, hide for her), eat and watch TV.

My weight is currently at 138lbs. I'm 5'4" I started doing this at the end of November when I weighed 161. It's not been the fastest rate of weight loss, but for me it feels sustainable.

[JulieInNJ]

I feel your pain. One aspect you may not have considered - are you on any medications that have weight gain as a side effect? You may want to talk to your doctor.

[DooLittle]

As mentioned before, the my fitness pal is a great app. It really opens your eyes to how many calories you take in, in a day. You might try adding more cardio in. You can try sneaking in a walk each day at lunch if you have time, maybe that would help. I know I would like to get in better shape, I used to run and I miss it. I just have a hard time, finding time, without giving up sleep, which is also important. Good luck!
Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk 2

[Solarsoldier001]

I am 5'4" and three years ago I was at my heaviest I've ever been. 240 pounds. I never really cared about my weight. I didn't even know that I had gain soooo much until Halloween and people at work took pictures of me.

I work really hard in the beginning of January to get the weight off. I never worked out. But I also never ate passed 6pm. My doctor told me its important to only drink fluids pass 6pm and nothing else.

By may I was down to 210

And by August 2009 I was down to 175



Don't lose faith. It takes a slow beginning. If you're taking your weight everyday I'd stop that. Do it once a week. Everyday the body fluctuates, but once a week you'll generally see something.

Morning I'd eat a huge meal like brown rice and chicken. And then some veggies

Afternoon I'd eat a sandwich

And then night (before 6) I'd eat a salad with oil vinegar or fruit.

Hope this helps you out


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[MrLang]

I watched a documentary on HBO recently called Weight of the Nation. It's acclaimed, and I agree, that it's the most comprehensive compilation of facts and tips about obesity that's been made. Some things I'm personally working on since seeing it:

1. Any calorie consumed in liquid is wasting your 'budget' - water, skim milk, and black coffee or unsweetened tea only. Even when you juice a fruit you're taking calories that could be spent filling your belly and consuming them for flavor. This adds to the overall calorie count to satisfy you. Your body treats liquid much different than it treats solids in terms of hunger response.

2. Take 2 adults of the same healthy weight with the same lifestyle. One of them has been that healthy weight for their whole adult life and the other was formerly obese and lost weight. The always healthy person can consume 2000 calories a day to maintain that weight as an example. The formerly obese person would need to consume only 1600 calories a day with the same lifestyle to maintain that weight. The metabolism works for the obese size INDEFINITELY. Your body never, according to a lot of research, 'resets' its metabolism. You can NEVER go back to eating like a healthy person who was never obese. This is much of the reason so many people rubberband their weight.

3. Take extremely small steps like not eating after 9, then 8, then 7, or not drinking soda during the week, then include the weekends in a separate step. Master the steps, then move to the next when you're comfortable with it and it has become a part of your regular, preferred lifestyle.

4. If you were to see what obese people's organs look like compared to healthy ones, you'd never look at a piece of fatty red meat off the pub menu the same way again.

You're going to need to be vigilant forever. Don't let that get you down or you will surely fail. I think that's probably the biggest hurdle to losing weight and keeping it off. You need to find a way to not be emotionally discouraged. I can't offer much along those lines in terms of internet opinion. You need to simply change how you do things and learn to love it. Don't let your guard down and don't lie to yourself. Pick goals you feel confident in obtaining and increase them when you're ready.

Good luck.

[SentinelSerpents]

I felt like I needed a place to vent about this, and for some reason feel somewhat insecure about posting it on my Facebook. Something about feeling vulnerable in front of people I try not to feel vulnerable about.

About three weeks ago I met up with a personal trainer to evaluate some fitness goals and work on some things. Truthfully, I used to work out in my basement with free weights about three years ago and got myself into the best shape I've ever been in. But, I also had a physical job, spare time and motivation (my ex left me because I 'got too fat for him to find attractive'). Fast forward to present day, and I'm now stuck at a desk job. I literally cannot leave my post, which is about a 6' x 6' area. I've moved to a new townhouse with my current boyfriend of 2 and half years, where we have no room for any type of workout equipment. Dumbells, yes, but no bench or even a barbell. So I decided to try going to the gym, and realized promptly that I have anxiety about it, to the point I couldn't even remember my routine/sets/how to use the equipment. I just freaked out.

So I hired a personal trainer, which I've been meeting up with twice a week for three weeks now. I've been pretty good with my eating habits lately, although it's hard some days when my other half wants to meet up with friends and go out to the pub, or restaurants, or meeting up with family for dinners, etc. But my other half is being very supportive, so that's reassuring.

But I'm definitely reaching that 'blues' point.

In my mind, I understand that muscle weighs more than fat, so while the numbers on the scale haven't changed, that doesn't mean my body composition hasn't changed. I understand it took me about a year to put on this 20lbs, so I know it's going to take more than a few weeks to get my body back into the routine. And I know my job where I literally sit for 8 hours a day is a serious disadvantage to my goals (I would need to do about 1.5hrs of cardio every day to make up for being immobile for much of the day).

I put on my pants this morning, hoping that my lack of weight lost would just be my muscle/fat ratio and that I would have actually lost at least a bit of size. But as I buttoned them up, I felt the same as I did at the beginning of my routine.

Definitely feeling disheartened right now. I'm 5'6" and about 155lbs, fairly muscle dense but it's hidden under 20lbs of fat. I used to be 135lbs, a size 6 and felt very comfortable in that range. So that's my goal to get to again. But the fact that nothing has visibly changed is leaving me a bit... frustrated. Mad. Disappointed. Upset.

As silly as it sounds, the main reason I want this weight loss is because my boyfriend keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged. I know that he is going to do something crazy romantic if he does (we often hike into the mountains and climb to the top, or do other crazy adventurous things that are so out of the ordinary). So part of me wants to feel as beautiful on the outside as he makes me feel on the inside. Sounds cliche`, but it's true. I don't hate the way I look, but I miss the way I used to feel when I was at my ideal weight. And I just want to get back there.

So this lack of results kind of hit me this morning, and I just needed to vent. Of course, it just drives me to try harder, but at the same time, I'm trying not to get frustrated.

My goal was to lose about 2lbs a week, give or take a bit while I'm focusing on my weight training (muscle vs. fat weight). But so far, nothing has changed, and I'm trying not to feel like I've failed before I've even really started.

Not sure exactly what I'm asking here. Maybe some feedback. Maybe some advice. Maybe someone else has been here before and might know exactly what I'm feeling. I'm definitely a fighter and I'm not about to give up, not when I know I've already done this before. But this time the results aren't where I expected them to be, and I kind of feel like: "Am I doing something wrong?"

I only skimmed the replies, but it sounds like you are wanting to do a body re-composition.. aka lose fat and build some muscle. This is not going to be the kind of thing where you see amazing changes in a week or three.. it really is a long-term build-up kind of thing. One day you will look back and be proud, but I'd advise you to not look in the mirror and get discouraged now or feel bad that your pant sizes aren't shrinking because a recomp takes time and dedication. It really pays off in the end though. The weight stays off unlike diet and fads.. and you will be healthier as well.

Also, you didn't really talk about what you are eating. It is really pretty much impossible to do what you are trying to do without figuring out your nutrition very thoroughly.. aka what your body needs and then figuring in a moderate deficit. Lots of people eat this or eat that, try to eat only certain kinds of foods, etc. but it is really simple: eat less than your body needs.. with caveats. I use myfitnesspal.com to track my foods. And yes, I weigh everything and put it in exactly. Eating what I think is 1/2 cup of ice cream may actually be closer to 1 cup of ice cream and that is a big difference. Guesstimating just doesn't work. In fact, after going through all this stuff myself I would go so far as to say that if you aren't figuring out your nutrition that your workouts will only go so far to help you.

That said, losing 2lbs per week of fat like you are talking about is way too much, especially if you do want to build muscle. If 1lb of fat is 3500 calories, so you are talking about cutting 7000 calories from your maintenance. Lets say your BMR is 2000 just for an example. If you were cutting 7000/week, that means you are only giving yourself 1000/day. This is way too low for most people and would basically be telling your body that you want to starve it all of a sudden. This would actually slow your metabolism down further and you may be breaking muscle down along with fat also.

A great formula for figuring out what your BMR is called the Katch-McArdle formula. It is:

BMR = 370 + (21.6 x LBM)Where LBM = [total weight (kg) x (100 - bodyfat %)]/100

The thing is that you absolutely have to have a good estimate of your body fat % to calculate it properly. There are several places you can go online to post your anonymous pictures for experts to help you like on bodybuilding forums or you can ask your personal trainer to help. Measurements aren't very good, but the Navy one is one of the more accurate:

http://fitness.bizcalcs.com/Calculat...=Body-Fat-Navy

Once you figure out your nutrition, if you do end up at the gym or doing weights then you will want to get some good protein into your body for tissue repair, etc. I encourage you to do a google search on recomp and macro nutrition so you can figure out your fat/carb/protein/etc. needs.

That's a start. There is so much more to this than popular culture discusses. It really is a lifestyle change, but it is worth it.. for your own feelings of self-esteem, for your health, for your future.

Best of luck!