Please help. :(

[kevinb]

Alright so I am going to try and keep this somewhat short so everyone doesn't doze off during reading. I am having a major issue currently that I need some advice on how to resolve. So here is the back story. My girlfriend and will have been dating for a year and 5 months the 27th of this month, over the past almost year and a half we have had our ups and downs as most couples do. The problem is we both have extreme depression and high levels of anxiety. Two years ago I attempted suicide and was hospitalized for a few days because of this. No one knew how bad my depression was until this point, mainly because they didn't listen or pay attention. The only one who WAS there for me was my now gf. I started seeing a therapist 2x a week and taking a multitude of meds (prozak, abilify, and trasadone). I was diagnosed with severe depression, manic bipolar disorder, and extreme anxiety. I'm happy to say with the help of my gf, therapist, and meds I am now doing good and have been off meds for close to 8 months without any major meltdowns. I still have my ups and downs but that's normal with anyone. Now on to my gf. She started to develope major anxiety her 5th grade year in school, so much so that she would follow her mom around all day (works at the school) because she was scared to let her out of her site, she had extreme seperation anxiety from her mom. Since then she has seen many therapist, taken many different meds and nothing helps. She hasn't been to school since 5th grade, instead she has been tutored by a teacher at the school and has done all the necessary things needed for school, me and her mom finally conviced her to go full time this year as it is her senior year and it will be good for her. (Forgot to add this earlier but the seperation anxiety for her mom was transfered to me when we started dating). She has been doing really great and getting all her work done etc, etc. Well I have yet to go to college and am waiting to attend a LPN program next fall to work towards my RN. So I currently work at an animal hospital. I love it here, I love seeing animals everyday, the people are funny and nice most days, and its generally a good atmosphere. Here is where the problem I need solved is. I work about 49+ hours a week, mondays and tuesdays I work from 12pm- about 8-9pm depending on how the day was. My girlfriend is at school from 7:30-2:30 weekdays. The problem is that when she gets home mondays and tuesdays she is completely alone. This is where it gets bad, she will text and call me balling telling me she wants me home because she can't go on anymore, she doesn't want to be alone, she misses me and can't handle it, etc. Her anxiety at this point is through the roof. she knows I can't leave as I have already used all my sick days from the flu a few months ago. So I'm stuck here for hours having to tell her its okay and getting "you don't understand! If you needed me id be there!". And it just makes me feel like crap that I can't leave to comfort her. I want to change my hours for mondays and tuesdays to mornings but #1) I have asked before and been blown off and #2) there is no one to cover my night shifts on those days. I'm really confused on what I should do from here. Someone please lend a little help, anything would be great. I'm getting depresed again from this issue and I don't want to be like this. So please any advice would be great. Thanks.


Kevin.

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[Skittles1101]

I know that depression and anxiety is a physical illness. I am in no way a doctor but have enough experience with people with the same issues that I strongly advise you and/or your girlfriend to seek treatment from a licensed psychiatrist, not therapist. I know anxiety from your girlfriend being unstable puts stress and brings back your old and seemingly "under control" issues. But you do NOT want to put yourself in danger just to be free of medication. I don't think there is anything anyone can say on this forum that will help you. Try getting her to go see a psychologist, and it probably wouldn't hurt for you to see one either. I hope I'm not coming off as harsh, I struggled with anxiety in my earlier years so I sort of understand, but it was never to this extent. I saw a psychologist and was medicated for almost 6 years before my body and brain and emotions aligned. I can't stress enough how important it is to seek professional help, especially since you've already attempted suicide once. I wish you both luck...

[kevinb]

Well I saw a therapist, she sees a psychiatrist. This is the 6th one since 5th grade that she has seen. I'm not really asking what to do in referance to our problems. More so what should I do about my worjmk schedual and meeting her needs. I feel if I ask to switch days again ill just get blown off like last time.

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[Tzeentch]

Xanex for the anxiety and a part-time job to occupy her free time. Though it's never that simple. She needs to see a therapist.

My gf suffers from anxiety, though not that bad. She can get pretty crazy though.
Then she smokes and it calms her down. She also has ADHD, ritalin never worked, smoking cures her ADHD too. Not advicating that you do the same, it just works in her case.

[kevinb]

She takes xanax like skittles...no lie. He doctor allows her up to 4x a day, and that still has no affect when she gets bad. Like I said none of her meds seem to improve her anxiety or depression at all.

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[dogdayofsummer]

Is she being treated for OCD? I believe she could have it. Might need more than medication it sounds like behaviour therapy could help. And you need to take care of yourself. Do you get a chance to talk to her psych Dr, does he/she know she is projecting her anxiety on you?
You do not need to being changing your job solely for her. Being there for her and and being a codependent are different things .

Wish I could give you more advice, but her situation really has less to do with you and your work, than it has to do with a serious illness. Sounds like you already know that. What ever they are doing with her does not seem to be working for her, it might be time to find another sort of treatment. Good luck I know it is hard. But if you can't keep yourself heathy, you won't be able to help her. Hugs.

[kevinb]

I usually go in with her when she has her pyschologist appointments and let the psychologist know what I see when she isn't there. My gf is getting to the point where she doesn't want to go to the psychologist anymore because its boring and in her eyes obviously not working.

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[CatandDiallo]

3 words: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

One of my roommates had the most severe case of anxiety I have ever heard of in my life. She basically turned into a zombie, and she had to leave school last year.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, she says, saved her life. It's expensive, but when someone is living the way your girlfriend is or my roommate was, it's worth it.

[llovelace]

She needs something to occupy her time, has she ever had a job?

[kevinb]

She had a job up until like a week ago. She was working two days a week. She stopped working though because ahe couldn't handle that and school. You need to know she went from sleeping 14-16 hours a day everyday, to being up at 6:30am and bed at 9:30. Its really wreaking havok on her body.

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